Hello my fellow Steemians!
It has been a while since I have made the time to write a post that was not related to my Actifit. There has been a ton of things weighing my world down and honestly, I had become too bummed out to post or even interact.
We shall start off with the great news first. After 4 years of hard, hard work, long hours, sleepless nights, frustrations, and what seemed like all manner of blood sweat and tears...my husband FINALLY received his Ph.D. in Computer Engineering from the University of Alabama at Birmingham! Talk about an excited wife! 😁
He walked the stage in December 2018. What was so funny about it was that I found a seat right near the stage and got some good photos of him.
He is now working a contract position at an energy company. His contract ends in August of this year, so he has to find something else pretty quickly. He has had multiple phone interviews with different companies and a university. He has two in-person interviews coming up next month.
Now for the not-so-great news.
The past 4 years have been a nightmare for my body. I put myself last on the list daily in order to help my husband’s goals become reality. Many days (especially when he was teaching for a year at an inner-city high school and as a professor at a local college for one semester), I was doing EVERYTHING. I would work my 9-5 job, come in, fixed dinner plates, and went to do his work for him for another 6-7 hours. Several nights I had to pull all-nighters alone while he slept, and then when he got up I had to show him what he needed to do to rewrite his homework in his handwriting and explain what I could before I showered and ran out the door back to my job. He also asked me to find homework and programming assignments for his students while he did yardwork or washed cars.
Doing all of that, compounded with financial stress that he could not help me to resolve, plus daily work stress, plus the stress of his mom having a stroke last year and me wanting to be there to help out but couldn’t (long story behind that) caused me to balloon in weight and not feel good most days. But I pushed through, thinking the whole while, “Sacrifices must be made for the greater good of the family, so we gotta suck this up!”
Eventually, people began asking him if I was okay because I did not look right or that I looked like I needed to sleep for a week. He then began to fuss at me about staying healthy and wanting kids after graduate school was over and I am jeopardizing that for him.
So I made a promise to myself that I would take better care of me, since he is now out of school and has a job. I have NOT been doing a good job of it because NOW I am tasked with looking for positions and filling out applications and sending emails when I come home from work, but I work on what I need for my health every day.
I want to share five of these things I have been doing with you:
Working out in the morning. I know that when I get up earlier and get my exercise program done, I feel so much better during the day and have a great amount of energy. I love how that feels. Even though I don’t do it often enough, I realize that it is needed for me.
Tell people NO. It has taken a really, really long time to learn this, but the word NO is actually a complete sentence. I can tell someone NO to protect my own time and to relieve the stress and pressure of being everything for everyone. It helps others understand that I am a person who has needs as well, and I am willing to hurt feelings and make people angry in order for me to be okay.
Meditate. Sitting down and doing deep breathing exercises brings more oxygen into my system, increasing energy and reducing stress. I noticed during the four years that he was in grad school that my breathing was VERY shallow and constricted. Meditating has opened me to focus on my breath and get everything else out of the way for several minutes. Even as much as 5 minutes has done wonders for my health.
Fruits and Veggies. My healthy regimen fell off the cliff, and I went from 145 pounds all the way up to 204 (at my heaviest). I would cook 90% of the time, but I would mostly give him the healthy, organic meals I would fix. I’d either not eat at all or I would fill up with the bad stuff. On the weekends I would go get takeout food from the restaurants and we would veg in front of the television. As soon as I make eating fruits and veggies my priority again, my body responded by shedding the inflammation and the extra pounds. I felt clear headed as well.
Doing things that make MY soul happy. Who knew that doing things that bring you pure joy would help improve your health??? I listen to classical music and old school hip hop, I crochet, I write, I take warm bubble baths with candles, I listen to the noises outdoors when it’s dark, I pray daily and read my Bible, and even though I am not allowed to have many girlfriends and cannot go out with the ones I have, I surround myself with amazing people on social media and my fellow Steemians and the stress subsides.
Taking care of your health first - even before taking care of the demands of everyone - is not a selfish act. You must fill yourself up and let others catch the overflow.
Time to go home and put my feet up. 😊