Hi everyone. It's been a while....I know.
Here I am at 4:00 a.m., with an additional respiratory illness on top of my regular chronic illness.
I cannot get comfortable to rest, even though I finally got the severe muscle spasms from coughing knocked down finally.
So, here I am.
I am looking around my house at everything I have fallen so behind on. Laundry, dusting, dishes, sweeping.
For those who are able-bodied, even though cleaning isn't something most look forward to, it is easily accomplished.
For me though, I have limited energy each day, so I have to choose my battles so-to-speak.
I feel so guilty that I cannot provide the immaculate home my husband deserves. He works so hard and deserves to come home to a clean home and dinner on the table each night. Yet, more often than not, I cannot provide that for him.
I am humiliated when anyone comes to visit. I feel ashamed of the way my house looks. I know it is running through their minds that I am just lazy. You see, my chronic illnesses are not visible. You don't see me with a neck brace or broken bones or a horrific rash or deformity, so it is hard to comprehend that I physically cannot DO much.
My pain is a permanent headache, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue. These are harder to prove to others and even harder for them to understand.
Checking my Steemit, I feel ashamed that I haven't posted in a long while and even more guilty and ashamed that I have missed so many wonderful posts from each of you. You each put in so much time and effort and I hate that I wasn't able to get to your posts in time to help you gain some steam.
I feel guilty I haven't been able to interact with friends more.
It seems I am always feeling guilty. I try to get past it as I know it isn't my fault, but I still do.
I pray each of you have a blessed day and if you have friends/family with an invisible illness, please send some encouragement their way! You have no idea how much guilt they feel for something out of their control.
God bless each of you.
Sincerely-Oily