*******Nova's birth story*********
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David and I knew we wanted a home birth from the beginning. After years of infertility, finding out about Nova was such a blessing and a miracle- a true sign that our practices of inner alignment and unconditional love for each other and ourselves had not been unnoticed by Spirit. Also that we had healed our sexuality and Masculine/Feminine energies which reside inside of us all. We wanted Nova to enter this world peacefully and for the act of birthing to be as natural and as comfortable as possible for both mother and child. I didn't want to be at a hospital wearing the gown someone may have died in the day before and hooked up to a bunch of machines, bright lines shining in mine and baby's eyes, pressured into unecessary intervention and shots, etc. I didn't want to be on drugs either, as I wanted to be fully present for the experience. Too many women I know had traumatic birthing stories at the hospital that left them feeling a bit broken and disconnected from their child. I knew for our particular experience, Nova wanted something different. We had considered possibly getting a midwife, but after much contemplation and learning of unassisted birthing from others, we were convinced this was the path for us. (Side note: unassisted birthing is 100 percent legal in all 50 states). Because even any good midwife will tell you, it's the mother who does all of the work and that the midwife is more there as a coach/emotional support system more than anything else, which is such a beautiful and selfless act which many women need. We were confident that with enough knowledge, love, trust, and faith, we could easily birth our child with utmost safety and ease just us. Animals in nature do it peacefully and on their own, so why couldn't I?
We committed to learning as much as possible over the following 9 months. I consumed dozens of books, joined many freebirthing communities online, watched tons of videos of live home birth, talked with many doula/midwives, and attended natural birthing classes. By the time Nova's birthday month of May rolled around, I knew I was prepared-physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Novas spirit would reach out to me in the dream realm almost every night, reassuring me that this is what he wanted and that he would enter the world with Grace and ease.
May 11- Nova's birthday
Novas estimated “due date” was May 23rd. However I knew he would choose to make his way earthside on may 11. He communicated this with me, and just like he told me the exact moment he was conceived (which was later confirmed as true!). I knew that these communications were legitimate. I even told my family and friends weeks before that I intuitively just knew he'd come on May 11. 11 is an angel number and also representative of the Twin Flame connection, which as you all are aware by now, David and I share. There was also to be a full moon this night, so everything felt aligned.
Okay, now to the actual birthing story!
I woke up around 3 am Thursday morning on May 11 starting to feel some light cramping on and off. It surely wasn't active labor, but it let me know that things were progressively moving along. There was a sense of calm about me and even excitement about what was to lie ahead. I did not feel scared. I felt content and guided.
At around 12 pm, the cramping became more consistent. It felt like strong menstrual cramping and had a rhythm to it. I would feel cramping for about 30 seconds and then it would release. This reoccurred consistently with 3 minute rest intervals. Even though I was starting to feel some intensity, David and I decided it was a good idea for me to just go about our day as usual and allow it to all unfold naturally. We went to run a few errands and went to our local Hobby Lobby for art supplies. As we walked around the store, I felt the intensity pick up. I did my best to conceal that I was in the beginning stages of labor as to not startle others, and held David close to me with my face nuzzled in his shirt when I felt the cramping arise. Upon our leaving the parking lot to go run our next errand, boom! My water broke and I soaked my pants and leather seats. At this point, I knew I was in it. There was no turning back and the day we had been anticipating for almost ten months was finally here! We finally got back home (luckily we live close) and I immediately and very instinctively threw off all of my clothes and hopped in the bath. They say if you're in true labor, that a bath will not ease the strength of the contractions/waves. This certainly was the case.
It was now about 4 pm and it was like all of a sudden a new energy came over me. The surges were getting stronger and about a minute and a half apart. I felt like I turned on my animal instincts at this point and became very primal/cave woman-like. I'd bury my face into a pillow and yell/moan with each strong wave, just letting myself be carried away with each sensation. At this point, I toggled back and forth between the bed and the bathtub, depending on what felt more comfortable at the time. David was there with me the whole time and would bring me water, rub my back, squeeze my hips, and listen to what I needed even if I could only respond in one word phrases. I remember at one point I told him I needed him to keep reminding me of how amazing I am and how he believed in me. He did a wonderful job of this and was so patient with me!! I felt so comforted by his presence. The only time i got “crabby” with him was when he took a five minute break to eat some food and his breath smelled like onions-lol! Luckily diffusing some peppermint oil helped with this and any sense of nausea that came and went.
As intensity picked up, I felt like I truly needed his presence at all moments. I was in this trance-like state, like as if I had taken the most unique and bizarre drug. This was fascinating as I was completely unadulterated and sober! It was almost as if I was channeling Mother Kali- in ritualistic union with the Divine feminine energy of every woman who had ever birthed before me. I was naked, making animal noises, and moving my hips around with my face in the pillow, as more birth fluid leaked out of me. David put on music to help me get even more in the zone. The name of the artist he chose is called “Liquid Mind” which is an instrumental ambient artist. (I just love the name of the artist!)
Time became a blur, and I remember just taking it one surge at a time. They kept picking up intensity and the break in between each one felt like Heaven. I was starting to get a bit tired at this point, but I was determined. I knew that the waves couldn't be stronger than me, because they WERE me. And I was able to take solace as I felt Nova moving slightly more down the birth canal with each wave. There was a point where I felt like I couldn't do it any longer and I told David this. But my Higher Self knew this meant I was close! With each wave, I began praying to God to help me through this final phase. I even began whispering “I surrender” in between each wave. I also began talking with Nova at this point saying “Mooooove dowwwwnn baby” with each contraction. After this, I felt like the portal was finally being broken open and that soon all of these intense sensations would be worth it. I pictured and felt my son's beautiful head descending downward.
David then decided to grab his flashlight on his phone and checked me to see if he could see anything. And then I remember hearing the most beautiful words I'd ever heard my partner say. “I feel/see his head! Our beautiful boy’s head”. He said this while welling up with tears and with the most pure excitement/energy I've ever sensed from him. It was so sweet and I will forever cherish that image. Upon hearing this, I turned on my full woman warrior goddess mode! I remember getting on the floor and feeling the need to begin pushing. I wanted to control my pushing more, but honestly the sensation was so overwhelming and my body's natural reflexes kicked in. David got behind me as I squatted and leaned back. “Oooooooh God!” “Ohhhhh God!” I began yelling as my body began uncontrollaby pushing. At this point, it probably sounded more like we were making a baby rather than birthing one. Isn't it funny how life comes around full circle? This was the most intense sensation of my life-to where light and dark become one. Pleasure and pain became indistinguishable. As my portal opened, with one final push-Nova shot out of me and David caught him! Nova began to cry and I swear it was the most perfect music to my ears. I got up on the bed, overcome with so much emotion as David handed our precious son to me. That first moment we looked into his eyes in our darkly lit room illuminated by our Himalayan salt lamp, was the most powerful moment of our lives. I had never seen anything more gorgeous in my entire life. I felt like I was staring the Universe in the eyes-God’s finest creation. It was utter bliss and there are no words in the human language to describe it.
After we wiped the blood and other bodily fluids off of our sweet son, I brought him up to my chest and he instantly latched to my breast as my body started producing the most life giving substance known to human. He was so slippery! So vulnerable. I was exhausted but so blissfully happy, it didn't matter! We waited for the cord to turn white and then tied it off with some paracord. Then we took our sterilized scissors and cut it. Shortly after, I delivered the tree of life-the placenta.
I hope my story inspires you to view birthing in a new light and that I can show you your own power. I feel how we are birthed influences us for the rest of our lives. If we want a more peaceful and connected world, shouldn't we be born in the most peaceful and connected environment possible? This story is not meant to shame any other mothers or their stories. It is not meant to demonize hospitals as hospitals do amazing things for birthing mother's and their babies, too! All women and their stories are valid and equally perfect and beautiful! I have a whole new appreciation and respect for women and birthing mother's, regardless of how they choose or are made to birth due to certain circumstances. I completely understand that what is right for me is not right for everyone and requires a great amount of trust and faith. I just wish to show you that despite what mainstream society tells you, you always have options! Birth, like death, is a natural part of life. We do not need to Fear it. We can greet it with open arms of Love. You are the Creator of your own reality and you are pure love manifested and so you are deserving of blissful experience. It's also no coincidence that Nova is one of the most calm and content babies we've ever met-as he is a representation of David and I and the everlasting bond we share. We have completed our Heavenly Trinity.
Thank you for reading and sharing in this magical time, with us!
Pictures from a few hours after he was born-umbilical cord just had been cut!!()
Here is our boy today, at almost 5 months old! Happy and healthy!
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