==Editors Note: I decided to break this up into 3 posts, because as I started typing it out I realized it would be way too much for my readers to take in all at once. I'll release one part each day for the next 3 days. Thanks for reading!==
What's up Steemit Users?
I wanted to take a moment to give you a little bit of back story that pertains to this post..
The Early Years:
I am someone who has spent their entire life struggling with weight. I've gone from thin to overweight to thin again so often, that I don't think I've ever had a chance to get comfortable or happy with the way that I look.
As a child I always felt a bit out of place because I was born with a nerve disorder that caused me to do a lot of things that were beyond my control. I would constantly be blinking and rolling my eyes, I would have general facial motor ticks, I would make weird noises, and I would constantly clear my throat.
It wasn't until I reached middle school that this really became an issue for me, as it led to me being bullied on a daily basis. I remember going home from school, and all I wanted to do was sit in my room and hide away from the world. Along the way, I would never hesitate to stop and grab a bag of Doritos, a Babyruth candy bar, some tasty cakes, and a big mug filled with Pepsi. I would lock myself in my room and stuff my face full of junk while watching TV, just so I could forget about all torment I had to endure on a daily basis. I hated myself, I hated my life, and the only thing that made me feel good was stuffing my face full of junk food and watching Saved By The Bell. I was 13 years old and I remember being embarrassed in gym class when I stepped on a scale, in front of all of my classmates, and being told I weighed 260 pounds.
I never fought back against the bullying, I just sort of took it all and as I look back now I realize that my eating habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms just continued getting worse. The only saving grace was the fact that due to good genes, I was always a little taller than everybody. Eventually I was much taller than everybody and the bullying stopped simply because I kept growing, and the bullies did not. I remember one summer I left school and I was 5'7 and when I went back to school I was 6'1" and it was as if everything changed.
As I got taller, I started feeling a little better about myself, I started making some friends, and I stopped locking myself in my room while consuming endless amounts of sugary snacks. I naturally started thinning out, despite not really trying to manage my weight... and that carried with me through my high school years until my mid twenties and that's where we flash forward a bit.
In 2005, I noticed that the weight started coming back. I wasn't really feeling down about myself, I wasn't binge eating, I wasn't sure what caused me to start gaining weight again but I wasn't doing anything to manage it either. The reason I wasn't doing anything to manage it was because like most people, I had no clue where to get started. I did try joining a gym and hated it because I didn't know what to do when I went there. I didn't know what was healthy to eat or what was really unhealthy for you. I was flat out clueless. I spent the next few years rapidly gaining weight , and it caused a ton of self esteem issues for me. I had a hard time talking to girls, and didn't have a girlfriend for a very long time. I hated shopping for clothes because I felt like everything made me look so fat and so hideous. I didn't think very highly of myself at all. One day in 2008 I woke up and I realized that I had gotten to be 360 pounds!
I was so shocked and disgusted with myself, I couldn't believe I had let myself get to that point. Here is a picture of me from when I was at that weight.
The Moment It All Turned Around:
Here's where I finally had that moment that caused me to make a decision to start making positive changes in my life. I was living in South Philadelphia at the time, and me and a group of friends would go down to the park and play football every Sunday morning. We always had a good turn out, 25 guys or so, and we'd go out and play for about 4 hours.
One Sunday after having played a game that lasted about 2 hours, I felt like I was literally going to die. I was unbelievably sore, I had a hard time breathing, and I hadn't contributed much to the team I was on due to being so out of shape and unhealthy. My friend then told me that we were going to be playing a second game. I told him I didn't have it in me and that I wanted to leave, but he gave me a sob story about how they need me to keep the teams even, so I pushed through it and decided to play some more. Afterwards, all I could think about was how bad I wanted to go home and soak in a hot bath. Since due to my Height (I'm currently 6'4") and my weight I couldn't fit in my tub laying down,I took a long hot shower instead. When I got out, I took a good hard look in the mirror and decided I didn't want to be like this anymore. I had been constantly telling myself that I was fat, I was ugly, I was a slob, a loser... I felt so bad about myself and the way I had become that I decided it was finally time to make a change! And make a change I certainly did.
I called up a good friend of mine, and told him how I was feeling and that I wanted to make a change and asked him for some advice. He was big into health and fitness and he was in great shape, so I knew he'd be a great resource.
After our conversation, I was elated. He said that rather than just give me some good tips and advice, that he would actually take me to his gym, get me signed up, and he would personally train me until I get to where I want to be.
I immediately went into my kitchen, I opened my fridge and all of my cabinets and started throwing out EVERY unhealthy thing I could find. I had decided I was making a commitment to changing my life, and nothing was going to stop me. I had never been so sure about anything in my entire life, as I was about the fact that I didn't want to live like that anymore.
--- Thank you for reading part One. In the next post I'll share what I ended up doing to lose the weight, as well as the ups and downs of what happened afterwards and the overall lesson that this experience taught me. Keep your eyes peeled for it tomorrow ----
-Derek