Some couples find it more difficult to consider whether to have a second child than when deciding to have their first child. This is because the presence of a second child in the home will change the family in many ways, such as social relationships, lifestyle, work, finances, and of course with the first child.
Science does not dictate Mother in making decisions, especially those concerning desire and love. If the heart wants to have a second child and so on, it is desire. But Father and Mother still need good planning, such as how the ideal distance between the first and second children and how to prepare the first child to have younger siblings, and other preparations.
Here are some issues that Father and Mother need to consider.
- When is the right time to have a second child?
According to some studies, the recommended waiting time for second child pregnancy ranges from 18 to 23 months after giving birth to the first child. The distance between the first and second child is useful to prepare the body of the Mother and for the second child can grow and develop in a healthy.
Body Mother takes time to recover from postpartum stress. In addition, the body also needs to recharge the nutrients lost by giving birth to the Eldest and need to get enough vitamin intake before giving birth again. During the break time, Mother can use it by maintaining a healthy body, applying a balanced diet, and consult a doctor for pregnancy programs when needed.
Meanwhile, if the distance between giving birth to the first child with a second child less than 17 months, it can increase the risk of a second child born premature or born with a weight below normal. Another study found that women who became pregnant within the first year after the first childbirth would have a second childhood tendency to be diagnosed with higher autism. The second child who was born less than a year after the birth of the first child, had a risk of autism 50 percent higher than the child who was born with a distance of 2-5 years from his brother.
However, the distance is too long is also not ideal. Pregnancy after delivery of five years passes in fact can also increase the risk of premature or underweight babies.
- How to prepare the Brother?
In welcoming the baby brother, the first child may experience various emotions. The Sister can feel joy, jealousy, or even hate. She may behave uncharacteristically that can drain the Mother, such as being fussy, eating difficult, and excessive misbehaving. In addition, the first child may also show a decline in the ability to attract the attention of Mother, such as forgetting potty training skills, talking in baby language, drinking with pacifiers, and sucking thumbs. This problem is usually only temporary and can be solved by preparing the Eldest to be an older brother. Here are some ways.
Tell him that there is a baby growing in the belly of Mother. Invite the Brother to say "hi" or "hello" to the fetus. Mother can also show a photo when the Brother is a baby, then tell me that the older brother was a little baby and later baby sister will be like the big brother when the baby.
Invite the Brother to accompany Mother to do a pregnancy checkup.
Involve the first child in the excitement of preparing for a second baby, such as asking her opinion in choosing items for her sister's room.
Give the Brother a role and tell him that it's important and very meaningful. Roles that can be taken by the older sibling, among others, help Mother to get baby diapers, choose toys for sister, and others.
Give a sister a surprise gift like a special bench for her to sit accompanying Mother nursing baby's sister. Mother can also prepare a small present for the sister and give it when the sister is born. Say also that the gift is a gift from baby's sister.
Approach the Eldest with people who will help Mother take care of him when approaching childbirth, such as aunt, grandmother, relative, or baby sitter.
When the Eldest visited the Mother after childbirth, make sure that the baby is placed in the crib so that Mother can embrace the Eldest. This is a valuable concern for the Eldest.
- How is your Mother's readiness?
One of the positive changes in the second child's pregnancy is that Mother already has the experience and knowledge of the first child thus increasing confidence when caring for a second child. Things that feel so heavy when taking care of the first child, including breastfeeding, changing diapers, handling the disease, do not seem to feel too complicated anymore.
Although the second child's burden may look lighter, but do not push yourself when the condition is impossible Mother. It's good mother to consult in advance with the obstetrician related pregnant child second program to be more physically and psychologically ready. Consider also the age of Mother. If Mother's age is below 30 and Mother has no health problems, then pregnant program planning can be more flexible with the doctor. However, if Mother is 38 years old and wants two more children, Mother may not have the discretion to adjust one child's pregnancy distance to another for three years or as an ideal distance.
In addition, do not hesitate to ask for help from people closest, both when pregnant second child and after childbirth. Although Mother already has previous experience, maybe Mother still can not solve all the hassles that occur when the sister was born.