“Know first who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”
– Epictetus
Today I bought a suit. It cost me 37€ in total. What does that say about me? Well other than I don't have money to buy another suit (meaning that I don't fit into the ones that I do have), my tastes have changed considerably also. Not the style so much, but once upon a time I wouldn't have bought a suit from H&M.
Snobby? Not really but I have never pulled a suit off the rack that has fit even close to well as I am both short and much broader in the shoulder than many of my height. Yeah, I have put on a few kilos also, which has made my suit selection a little slim. That is a pun.
My wife and I have a wedding to attend on Saturday and I was worried that I would either have to spend a lot more than I am currently willing (37 euros I can manage) or, have to squeeze myself into one of the suits that not too long ago, fit so well and hope that I don't bust a seam - or a zip like I had happen last week. Does a cheap suit matter though?
Yes.
I know, people believe they believe in the "wear what you want and feel comfortable" shill, but in my experience, that is definitely not the case. When one dresses well, their attitude changes, their posture changes, their voice and demeanor changes. Very rarely do the clothes not matter.
And then, the impression others change also, even among friends like it will be for this wedding, the way people speak to each other changes and, the way interaction takes place changes too. I look forward to these times when everyone is dressed up together because, it is part of what makes an occasion special. Does a cheap suit change who I am, does the suit make the man?
No.
Wearing the most expensive suit available makes no difference to the wearer unless, they choose to feel different in that suit. A cheap suit lessens opinions in no way if the wearer carries themselves well. Carrying oneself well is a lost art it seems, My fair lady deportment lessons are from a bygone era, and standing with a straight posture has been replaced by hunched backs over smartphones.
It seems so old fashioned and politically incorrect to even use carry oneself well, but in a world where impressions are made at a biological level in fractions of a second and those impressions can be lasting in a social context, isn't it natural to put one's best foot forward? For those that say, "looks don't matter", I call BS - we all make judgments on appearance, and even the blind want their partners to be attractive.
Love yourself as you are - always look to improve on it.
You know, don't care what people think of you sure, but is there anyone out there that doesn't want someone to find them attractive? Yes, everyone has different tastes and preferences but we are still social animals that judge each other on various biological needs. Again, we aren't meant to speak about these things are we? But "attractive" goes well beyond looks doesn't it? At least, my wife could do much better than me in the looks department.
She still cares about what I wear though.
It was funny. The other day I was talking with a client in Germany about clothing after I commented on her skirt and shoes and she was surprised that I can buy clothes for my wife, and my wife lets me because her partner doesn't even know her sizes. I am old fashioned, I think it is important to be our best for the people who are important in our lives and when it comes to a romantic relationship, shouldn't one want to be attractive to the other? That means that there should be some trust in what the other finds attractive - after all, my wife chose me -she should have a pretty good idea what she likes to see me in, and I her.
Have you noticed how taboo some topics are these days? You are not allowed to talk about anything that could offend someone, say anything that someone could self-identify with and see as a negative in any way, shape or form -no matter how general the statement or context, no matter if they were invited into the conversation at all. A person isn't even allowed to have preferences spoken aloud because people who are excluded may take offense. Why would they care?
It is ego. Everyone wants to be accepted by everyone even if they discriminate against others. We all discriminate. Shop discriminate. My wife can't buy a dress in her size - an adults dress that is. She is short but not extremely so but the sizing doesn't go to her size. An extra small that used to fit her now is 2 sizes too large. Vanity sizing. They go up to sizes that didn't exist a few short decades ago though.
While it is healthy to be comfortable in your own skin, it doesn't mean that it is healthy to be obese.
30% of under 20's are obese or overweight. We have created a strange Wall-E-esque society - haven't we? Is this what all our learning over the last few hundred years has led us - is this improvement? No, this is consumerism. Consume at any cost, as long as the dollars keep flowing. On one side there is all of the temptation that is just so compelling that we must have, on the other all the products promising to undo the damage. Make us ill, sell us a repair kit.
But don't talk about it as someone might get offended.
Well, I have a cheap suit and a dad-bod. Sexy.
I should go for a run. Tomorrow.
Taraz
[ a Steem original }