Oh my, what a truly brutal and honest post. A rare thing indeed.
I don't have anything that I could say that would help you with the feeling you are so obviously struggling with except you are loved. Anyone who can write a post bearing their soul in the way you have here deserves the love of this amazing Steemit community. I hope you have the right circle of freinds to help you get through to the other side babe ❤️🤗🌹