Women huh! You can’t live with them…..
My wife and I often have conversations about bodies, shapes, sizes and appearances. Luckily this doesn’t lead to arguments in our house as I will either pretend I don’t hear her or will just walk away!
Being a teenager in the 90’s, I had this image of what the perfect woman looked like. She was a mix of all of my favourite looking women; Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Cindy Crawford, Terri Hatcher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jenny McCarthy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, plus I am sure there were more! They all had one thing in common, they were all slim, very petite, stunning to look at and in some cases surgically enhanced.
Because of this perception I had, I assumed that girls should look like that in every day life, despite the fact that these women actually have personal trainers, make-up artists, hair stylists and more who are paid to make them look like that.
I am not one of these men that will lie and say I was attracted to personality first, I wasn’t, I fell for my wife based purely on her looks and appearance as she ticked all of the boxes of reminding me what the perfect woman looked like. I had never spoken to her or knew anything about her so I couldn’t know what her personality was like.
The moment I first saw her I had this new feeling I had never had before, something told me that she would be the person I was going to end up marrying. She was slim, pretty, had a great figure, I was instantly attracted to her, the only thing I didn’t know was what she was like past what I could see with my eyes.
Fast forward a fair few years and since the birth of my firstborn, not only have my perceptions changed but also what I think the ideal woman looks like in my eyes. This won’t be the same for all dad’s/men out there, this is just from my perspective.
After she had given birth to our eldest, when she was finally out of those god awful looking nursing bras and huge pants, I saw something different. I can’t explain why but I started to see her differently now.
I instantly felt closer to her, more attracted to her.
I saw her post baby body differently to how she did, I saw it as curvy in the right places, her scars, the imperfections, the way her stomach now sat differently because of the mess that was made after her emergency c-section. I saw all of these things as how I think a real woman looks.
This was the way I now see my wife and in part changed my views on how other women looked.
No longer was I this critical, judgemental man who if he saw a woman not looking like a 90’s sex symbol would snigger to himself. I am not saying I go around eyeing up other women, but if I see someone on TV, walking down the street, in the shops, its human nature to look and notice, just don’t get caught doing it!
I knew it was wrong to cast judgement but I am like most red blooded males, we see with our sexual thoughts a lot of the time and it doesn’t enter our minds what that woman has been through in her life to look the way she does.
After being together for 11 years now, we have been through a lot, there have been bumps along the way which kind of describes what we look like! My wifes appearance might not be deemed as ‘perfect’ to the rest of the world but her appearance is perfect in every way through my eyes. I love the way she looks both in and out of clothes.
The best part of my day is always the start of it, it starts the same way, watching my wife getting ready in the mornings…We are not prudish in our house and think nothing of walking around naked, that’s how we are. We are not exhibitionists by any means, but we are also not adults who try and hide and shy away from each other.
Because of this, I get to see her beautiful body in the flesh every morning, you can’t beat a start to your day seeing something that looks that good.
You may think I am biased and/or pervy, but imagine yourself living with your secret crush and not checking them out! I married mine and in a world where people have never been more scrutinised for the way they look, I think that’s pretty awesome.
I am proud to say she is not stick thin, with boobs pushed up to her chin, as the curves she has and the imperfections to compliment them are what makes her a real woman.
I just wish she would see her body the way I do and not care so much about what other think.
This is my wife through my eyes.
There is no one size fits all, so whilst you may not love the body you now have post baby/s, I am pretty sure your partner does and sees you, how I see my wife.