Name calling is a form of emotional abuse. This particular type of abuse is called objectification. People tend to look at this issue less seriously compared to other forms of abuse. According to Lundy Bancroft, abusers pick words that are extremely disturbing to women such as b#tch, wh#re and c#nt and sometimes fat. Using this way, they are battering the woman’s humanity by reducing her to an animal, a non- living entity or a degraded sexual body part. These disgusting words are not just words, for they carry an ugliness in them that feels like violence. The epithets are being chosen to make victims unsafe and degraded.
Artwork by myself
Once the habit of name calling starts, it is hard for the abuse to stop because the abusers get used to it and no longer feel guilty when the event takes place often. It is as if her feelings no longer count or have completely ceased to exist. Eventually, it reaches a point where the abuser feels no longer has any remorse and he will be able to sleep without feeling bad that he has hurt his partner. This leaves the victim feeling like she is an emotional punching bag that is being used by her partner to lash out and in the end she will feel so drained emotionally that she will no longer be able to continue the relationship. If you are a victim of abuse, please tell your partner how you feel and ask him to stop. If he does not follow through and keeps going back to old ways, then you need to leave the relationship because it will only go downhill from there.
If you are guilty of doing this act of abuse, please consider your partner as a person first and accept the fact that she has feelings too. If you love her then stop abusing her and respect her as a human first and if you fail to give her basic respect then do her a favour and leave so she can find someone who can treat her better. Then, work on your ability to stop abusing people and get professional help if you need.
Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Malaysia – Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO): +603 7956 3488 (Mon to Sat: 9am - 5pm.
Also Tues, Wed and Fri: 7pm - 10pm) or
Whatsapp TINA: +6018 988 8058 (24 hours)