This is the next part where Zen and the gang are before the pearly gates...
The pearly gates opened with a resounding clang and woke up the gang sleeping in the grass. The doorman, hands on hips, called out: “Right you scurvy lot, on your feet.” He was an ex sergeant major from the British army and knew how to get things done.
The gang groaned to their feet not expecting such from the pearly gates of heaven.
“I’ll take a baker’s dozen and a fisherman’s friend to go,” said one of the gang.
“Is it a guinea to ride on the port side of the boat going East North West at eleven knots?” asked another.
“If the sun is over the yard-arm make mine a bloody Mary on the rocks,” said another joining in.
“If I order chips will I get crisps?” said one with a squeaky tongue.
“A bit of Dutch courage would not go amiss, the butterflies are playing up something this morning and the heebie jeebies are on the move again,” said one from the back.
The doorman did not know what to make of it all and so shut the pearly gates and went to seek help.
KISS MY QUICK BEFORE I DIE
This is the continuing saga of Zen and the gang who have died and gone to Heaven and wait outside the pearly gates to go in.
“Dying and going to Heaven is not what I thought it would be,” said Zen lying on the grass and waiting for the pearly gates to open and let her in.
“Arr,” said one of the gang.
“These are Christian gates and I’m a Buddhist,” said Zen.
“Arr,” said the gang man again.
Zen lay back and began singing quietly to herself: “Kiss me quick before I die, love the girls and make them cry....”
One of the gang started singing along with her and then the rest of them joined in until they were all belting out the words of the song so loud one of the pearly gates opened and out popped a head through the crack of the gates.
“Will you lot please shut up, we’re trying to drink our coffee in peace in here.”
“Coffee, who said coffee?” said one of the gang.
Zen had had quiet enough by now and so she charged the slowly closing pearly gate with her battle cry of: “Coffee!” The rest of the gang jumped up and charged along with her.
A GNAT’S BREATH
A gnat’s breath before the pearly gates clanged shut, Zen was upon them with the rest of the gang close behind her.
They all heaved at the gates and slowly they opened until they were wide enough for them all to charge through.
The little man who had opened the gates and had told them all to shut up had scarpered and was half way across a limitless field of grass; it looked like he was running for his life with his long flowing robes billowing out behind him.
Zen stopped and looked around her at all the grass.
“Where’s the coffee?” asked one of the gang who had stopped and was milling around Zen with the rest of the gang.
Zen walked all the way around the pearly gates to the other side where she had started from then back through the gates to join the gang again.
“Something funny is going on here,” she said.
“Arr,” said the gang man.
“We’ve been camped out by these gates waiting for them to open when all the time we could have walked around them; but where’s heaven?” said Zen perplexed.
End of part ten, I think...
Image from Pixabay
The part before: