So run for cover now if you don't like hearing about people's bullshit, cause I got some. I've just been an absolute mess this last couple months, and no, not a cute #hotmess, an actual mess, ugly, reclusive, numb with tears I can't even cry. It's the end of winter and I'm feeling like a corpse. And no, don't give me your pity or tell me to feel better, I'm actually pretty cool with dying inside. Everything dies folks. Everyone has ups and downs and if you don't, are you really alive?

I am on the lowest point of this cycle of my journey. I know I will be back on this part of the spiral many many times before I'm gone from the Earth for good. The contrast of emotions helps us really feel the joy of when life is good. If life was never a desperate feeling piece of shit, how would I even know what real happiness was? Or how precious it truly is...

Last week I was outside when the largest shadow ever landed on me. I looked up and saw the hugest raven I've ever seen, just as it passed out of view. I thought, this is amazing, I never see ravens in our area, ever. A lot of crows, but never raven.

Then just 2 days ago I see 4 massive ravens off in the distance. I cannot believe my luck as they start soaring closer and closer to me. Dancing in the air, their moves were majestic. As they get really close I notice that they have red heads. Wait? Red headed Ravens? They continue their incredible dance (the chickens were scared shitless by the way, and were all hiding under bushes) so I figure I've got time to get my camera. I come out and get 2 photos off before my battery died! Well, at least I got 2 photos and one of them turned out alright...

When they finally move on I go inside to research this Red headed Raven and lo and behold, I have actually witnessed my first ever sighting of Turkey Vultures, and now I'm certain that the big black bird that flew over me last week was one as well. Heart feeling lighter because this is the first meaningful thing that has happened to me in what feels like ages.

I've been researching them, and I found out a lot of things that shattered my previous assumptions about vultures. For one, the chickens were in no danger at all! Turkey vultures won't harm living creatures, they only eat the dead. They eat rotting flesh, yet their faeces is 100% free of bacteria! They are literally the cleanest birds! They go around and clean our earth, and they transform it into bacteria free droppings. What champions! I cannot believe they have such a bad reputation as being 'evil' or 'ominous' animals.

Another interesting thing I found out about them is that they have a very hard time taking off in flight, yet once they get going they can fly for hours without even flapping their wings, they use natural air currents to soar without using any energy.

I have heard your call and will heed your wisdom!