Being a Scot(ish) member of the commonwealth there is nothing I like more than to cast aspersions on the english sassenach. As a matter of fact I see it as a cornerstone of our cultural identity.
My love of history however has made me realize that most of the crimes we lay at the feet of the English should actually be blamed on those ravagers of Europe the Normans.
William the Conqueror the first Norman ruler of Britain alone is responsible for the Harrowing of the North, the conquest of Ireland and the imposition of catholicism on the irish ( Yes St Patrick Belonged to the Celtic Church).
In the Brave Heart story (however innaccurate the movie was) the traitor then saviour Robert de Bruce was a Norman and the evil wrongdoer Edward longshanks was also a Norman.
I think the only invasion that can be properly blamed on the english is Cromwell’s but that invasion ,in my opinion, had less to do with conquest and more to do with breaking the onerous chains of roman catholic domination of country and people more on that in another post.
To be clear when I speak of roman catholicism I”m speaking of the political domination practiced by the state religion of the roman empire not the religion practiced by all those great people who’ve fed me all that terrific food over the years, unlike the english who are stingy mingers when it comes to sharing food. There i go harping on the english again sorry old habits die hard.
Back to the potato famine most of the lords ruling Ireland at the time(both “english”and “irish”) were normans. These are the people famous for exporting grain while the country starved. Another overlooked aspect of the potato famine is the preceding
population explosion facilitated by the fact that a family could feed itself well with just potatoes and dairy and poor quality land that wouldn’t grow other crops could grow a profusion of potatoes.
The potato was introduced to Ireland in 1589 at which time the population was estimated to be just under 2 million fast forward 250 years and the number was closer to 8.5 million just before the famine[ http://www.grantonline.com/grant-family-genealogy/Records/population/population-ireland.htm ].
The final historical realization came from a new genetic study of the british isles. It turns out that the irish aren’t celts, the scottish aren’t celts the welsh aren’t whatever you thought the welsh were and the english aren’t anglo-saxons whatever the roots of their languages. The ethnic genetic make up of all four is overwhelmingly Basque [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/05/science/05cnd-brits.html ] that’s right all people of the british isles share a common ancestry with the basques of the iberian penninsula a people well known ( i never knew this, the only basque i ever met had dark hair and an olive complexion) for their red hair. Sound familiar, people who have red hair? Recently a youtube vlogger (do people use that word) Lauren Southern took a genetic test and went over the results on her video. Going into the video her family history told her that she was danish, irish and english so she expected to be scandinavian,anglo-saxon and celtic. Much to Lauren’s surprise the genetic test revealed that she was west german, scandinavian, some anglo-saxon englishry and good percentage iberian! Lauren quickly realized that the west german dna map overlay part of the scandinavian dna map on the danish peninsula but her “spanish” ancestry baffled her. Well the iberian dna was basque dna which is the dna of the first inhabitants of the british isle whose ancestors still dwell there to this day.
not my content
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Not my video used for reference only
To sum it up most of what we (scots, irish, welsh of the commonwealth diaspora) consider english historical crimes can be attributed to the Normans the same group of french speaking vikings who dominated much of europe.
So the next time the irish girl won’t stop reciting joyce when your just trying to get your drink on or your scottish cousin passes out in your bed and pisses himself or your english friend starts acting all gods gift to civilization or your welsh friend won’t stop thinking too much, remember its all your fault.
What are all us non-english british types supposed to do with our time now that our historically based righteous indignation towards pommies has been tarnished.Never fear none of us have ever let facts get in the way of our tribal rivalries and the english God bless them are always a good target for some good hearted piss taking. Let me give you a good example. I was standing in front of a bar and an englishman was talking to some saudis. He stopped talking to them and walked over to me and started complaining to me in his thick english accent about how if the saudis were to come to Canada they should learn to speak english properly because he couldn’t understand them. To which I replied ,with glee in my heart for this wonderful opportunity, “ I know how you feel I couldn’t understand a word you just said” exit stage left fuming englishmen last man standing smug colonial. Piss Taken!
(tongue in cheek bruv you know I love you)