Hey everyone, hope life ‘s going great for you! If it’s not the case and perhaps you’re stressed out, perhaps you feel like the world is not making sense anymore or maybe you just feel surrounded by people whose intelligence is closer to that of a pebble.
Whatever it is, let me put things in perspective for you. So, sit down, relax and maybe enjoy a nice cup of coffee – or tea if you enjoy tasteless hot water.
Dumb Humans: Mistakes and Excesses in a little planet called Earth
The Great Emu War of 1932
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a post-WW1 Australia. It’s sunny and dry but a slight breeze can be both felt and seen as the sand swirls above the soil. Tension is at its peak, it’s a standoff. On one side, a trigger-happy human army and on the other, a fierce beast, the name of which still strikes fear in the heart of our mates down south: the emu.
Ok, now that you’re picturing the scene let me explain a little bit how the hell we got to that point!
At the end of WW1 in many countries finding jobs for soldiers was not an easy task – especially if you had nothing to rebuild. So, the Australian government allocated land located in Campion to its 5,000 veterans back from war but little did they know that this land was plagued by 20,000 Emus. These savage beings stumped on the wheat crops, devoured what they could and tore down the fences. Wasn’t the droughts and the Great Depression enough? Apparently not.
Attempt n°1
The first attempt which lasted from the 2nd to the 8th of November went, as you probably expected, badly. Either they were out of range or their gun jammed. It is hard to estimate the exact number of birds killed during this first attempt some say 50 others between 200 and 500. Personally, I like to think it was 50 because it is both funnier – especially if you consider that 2500 rounds were shot – and more probable – as they probably juked the stats. Was it really a complete failure? No, in the process they had gained valuable information and started to understand their enemy.
Each mob has its leader… who keeps watch while his fellows busy themselves with the wheat. (…) At the first suspicious sign, he gives the signal, and dozens of heads stretch out of the crop. A few birds will take fright, starting headlong stampede for the scrub, the leader always remaining until his followers have reached safety.
Attempt n°2
The second attempt lasted from the 12th of November to the 10th of December, in other words, shit was getting real! Although at first, they weren’t able to do much damage, by the 2nd of December they were slaughtering hundreds of their feathered foes a week. Meredith has reported that 986 of these birds were killed and 2500 were shot and died from sustained injuries – a total of 9860 bullets was used int the process. A little odd in my opinion but I’ll guess we’ll never know the true facts as the emus wish not to speak on that matter.
In the end the emus did win the war and Major G.P.W Meredith had a little something to say to the press.
If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world. They could face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks.
Moral of the story
Dear people of Australia, you fight kangaroos and cobras with your own hands , you do not think twice about punching sharks in their nose and you even chug a shrimp on the barbie mate, yet you've lost against what is nothing more than a small ostrich. What can we learn from this story? Maybe that the people we expect the least of can amount to the most? maybe that nature will always win? Maybe the answer to this question is much simpler: Just don't fuck with emus mate!
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This true tale is a proof of the mistakes and excesses - dumb - humans make in a little planet called Earth.
| N° | Type | Source |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Article | National Geographics |
| 2 | Article | Wikipedia |
| 3 | Video | YouTube - British MovieTone |
| N° | Images |
|---|---|
| 1 | IFLScience |
| 2 | Wikimedia |