Defining Respect

The concept of respect is sometimes vague and unclear. Searching for philosophical clarification on the idea of respect leads one to dead ends or jargon-filled work that no one understands but the author. But on a daily basis (if you are a golfer) you hear the term “respect”. Respect the course, respect your fellow players, respect the rules, respect the etiquette, respect the elders, etc. Taking these statements at face value, each one means that you need to take care of the course (e.g., leave it as you found it), do unto others as you would have them do unto you (if I can use the bible verse here), adhere to and follow the rules of golf, act in such a manner as to follow the rules and be respectful, and admire those who have achieved in life (even if it is only old age). In this brief explanation, I have set out more than four ideas pertaining to respect. Google tells us that respect is “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements” or “due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others”. What is important here is to see that respect can be used in various ways in a sentence. In other words, respect has more than one use.

Golf as Metaphor Explaining Respect

One recurring idea surrounding respect is that it is a reciprocal concept. If you give respect, you will receive respect. This makes total sense until you start to question what exactly it is to give respect. As we saw in the previous section, the idea of respect varies and is complicated, to say the least. Let me use golf as an example or metaphor to explain respect. The idea of respect as reciprocal comes to mind when you think about golf. There is an old saying that goes: Respect the course and the course will respect you. There are two important factors here that bring us back to the second google definition of respect. To respect the golf course means you look after the golf course in the sense that you repair your pitch marks, repair your divots and rake the bunkers. The idea behind this is twofold because, firstly, when you do this, you repair the course, and (2) your leave the course in a good enough condition for the next player to play as you played. So, in repairing the course you show due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of (1) others and (2) the course itself. If you do not do this, you show disrespect. We can come to understand the term respect also in this negative sense of the word.

Understanding Respect via Disrespect

Google tells us further that respect links to consideration, thoughtfulness, attentiveness, and politeness. Think about the person who treats you with disrespect. He or she does not take your feelings into consideration, he or she is unsympathetic and generally impolite. The same person will generally leave his or her pitch mark unrepaired, the divot unfilled and the bunker unraked. In other words, the unrespectful player will leave the course in a worse condition as they found it. The course will thus play differently for the next player in the sense that if your ball lands in the divot, pitch mark, or unraked bunker you will play the course in a much more difficult and unfair state. To state it bluntly, leaving the golf course in a worse-off condition than you received it is to not consider or respect others. You, in a sense, break the reciprocal respect given and respect received loop. You thus disrespect others. Again, this does not really elucidate the already convoluted concept of respect. But it somehow showcases via its negation what it is not.

Philosophical Musings on Respect

Confucius is believed to have said, “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” Again, the idea of respect being reciprocal. This leads us to an understanding of respect as something you give in order to get back. Not in the negative sense of the idea, that is, not in the sense that you do something in order to get something back. Think of the person doing the right thing to get attention or recognition. This is not the idea of respect we want to put forward. The idea of reciprocal respect, instead, is that what you put in you will get out. If you respect others, others will respect you. There is a nuanced difference between respecting others so that you get recognition for respecting others and respecting others so that you get the reciprocal respect back.

In the end, we are still left with the question, what is it to respect? What is respect? What is it to treat others with respect? What is it to respect others’ values/characteristics? The idea that I want to put forward is that respect is reciprocal or a shared virtue. One cannot have respect on one’s own. There is either an inanimate subject or an animate subject. But even with an inanimate subject (like the golf course), you respect it because you know it will affect other animate subjects. Again, the golf course metaphor can help here, or one can the of nature in general. Respecting the course or nature herself, will not directly benefit you in the short run, but it will help others. You will, in a sense, leave the course and nature as you found it for others.

Still, we can ask what is respect? Is it to fill your divot, repair your pitch mark or rake the bunker, or is this mere convention? Is it rule-following? Is it respect? This will remain an open question, especially in our modern and liquid era.