Stress is Part of Life
I know, I know....who wants to hear something like that? And yet, sometimes saying the truth out loud like that can be the first step in letting go of whatever has got you by the tail. Sometimes you drop a carton of eggs. Or, like me, you drop a half gallon glass jar of milk while in line at the grocery store (what an embarrassing mess!!). And of course, what possibly could be causing lots of stress these days?? Do I have to name it? Okay....COVID-19.
But really, if we didn't stress our muscles we wouldn't get stronger or even maintain our strength. We lose a lot of muscle mass after spending a week in bed, thus having to slowly get stronger over time after a nasty illness. Oh, and when you have your arm in a cast, you aren't using your muscles which translates to a weakened arm. Right?
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If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
Attitude Adjustment
When I was still in my first marriage and I KNEW it wasn't going to work out, THAT caused all kinds of stress. I remember looking at how I was walking and holding myself in a collapsed manner. I LOOKED unhappy and stressed. I told myself that the first objective was to just change how I stood and how I walked. I paid attention to how I was presenting myself to the world. It did matter. And the best part was that I felt better about myself just by changing my posture. The only person I could change was myself, and I was moving in the right direction.
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Make Memories While Sharing a Meal with Someone You Love
Besides just noticing your posture and improving the way you present yourself to the world, another thing I would suggest would be to make sure that your diet is the best that you can afford.
I didn't have a lot of money when I was raising my two children as a newly divorced mother but I always focused on delicious, wholesome foods for my family. My grown kids like to tell stories about my homemade soups but that is only because children pretty much hate everything unless it is bad for them. (Well, that really isn't true but if you have kids you know how hard it is to please their palettes!)
My children grew up attending group dinners that had friends of all ages to play and eat together with on a monthly basis. Not only were we eating freshly made dinners (with dessert, of course) but there was the added bonus of laughing and catching up on the neighborhood gossip. :-)
My grown kids still talk about how special those group meals were to them. As a newly divorced mother at the time, it was essential for my well being to get together with other parents and kids. No man is an island, and humans are social beings. I needed to talk to others while my kids were in a safe and loving environment.
If you have a group of people that you like to chat at with the coffee shop, then take the next step. Invite everyone over for a meal. You make the main dish, others bring the side dishes and dessert. Everyone chips in to wash the dishes afterwards. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Next month (if you can wait that long) have the dinner at someone else's home. Repeat as often as you like.
Sharing you life with others is such a wonderful gift to everyone involved. And from the angle of de-stressing, talking to others helps put your life's obstacles in perspective. Maybe you will get some ideas or stories from others who have had the same issues. If nothing else, you will have the support of others who care about you.
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Any Parent Knows that Children Can Cause a Lot of Stress
Parenting is an easy topic to focus on because I did raise two children (who are now thankfully grown and productive). When I was young and didn't have a lot of extra funds available I always, always, always made time for a walk. Sometimes I would have a babysitter come by for a couple of hours and I would walk all by myself (which was AMAZING). Other times, I would take the kids with me to walk in the park or next to the Kansas river trails. In the summertime, when we didn't have AC, I would go to a state park where we would swim, ride their little bikes, and walk the trails.
I had a lot of stress because it was hard to pay the bills and have anything left over. I had to be creative and do many things that didn't cost us much and in the end those were the best of times. I feel like we may pay a little more attention to our lives when there is a struggle or stress involved. Walking was definitely one technique that help me stay healthy and feel great.
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Find Your Bliss
Your bliss may not be gardening but for me there is no better way to de-stress. You don't even need a clear objective. I remember having a terrible day at work and I just pulled weeds. I didn't think about the problem. I watched a robin get a worm. Smelled the moist air. Enjoyed the sun in my face. After an hour I couldn't really remember what the problem had been and life seemed calm again.
Photo by Shifaaz shamoon on Unsplash
What makes you happy? What gets you excited to be alive? Do you enough time with friends, especially if you are an introvert? Maybe it is time to try something new. Don't make the task too complex.
I think the best advice is to go for a walk every day. Bring a friend sometimes. Talk to a stranger. Help an older person who may need help but doesn't want to be a burden. Smile often. Share what you don't need anymore. Be thankful. Give often. This life is a gift and when we remember that point, the stress just melts off.
Be well and God bless.
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