Happy New Week guys, trust you had an amazing weekend.
When is it ok to be firm?
I'm a very easygoing person; I smile a lot and try to be friendly with people; tell me, who doesn't like a friendly face in the midst of either unfamiliar or new faces? Not me, though.
As much as I love to be friendly and very accessible to others, there are times I can't help but draw the line and I draw it so well.
In today's world, sometimes being assertive or firm can be interpreted as being aggressive or unfair most times. But what I've come to learn in life is that if you don't put your feet down where necessary, people will walk over you.
Growing up, I didn't really know how to stand up for myself, heck I still haven't mastered the art completely but I’m trying.
I used to let things slide for the sake of letting peace reign, but where did that get me? It got me into the hands of those who always wanted to exploit my gentility and calm demeanor. You know how someone has gotten to know you and knows what you can do and what you cannot do, and keeps doing things to you that he or she would not accept, but for the fact that they know you won't react they pull those stunts on you, so that was where I was, I was often walked over.
I remember one time while in the university, I had this roommate who was really disorganized, she would use things and wouldn't return them to where they belonged, I practically picked up after her, I wasn't making it a case because I didn't want any issue, but at some point, I figured I had had enough of her ways.
One day after we both got back from classes, I told her that we needed to have a conversation, and she gave me her attention. I had to tell her that I wasn't pleased with the way we were living. We were both adults, but I was practically the one cleaning up after her, and it wasn't nice. I told her that we would have to drop up a schedule of who has to do what in the room, if you missed out on a chore you're supposed to do at a particular time, and you didn't find a way to remedy it, you would have to put down a sum of money. Initially, she didn't agree to a particular sum I had called out; we had to deliberate and later come to a conclusion.
At first, she always had to pay me because she was always forgetting to keep to her end of the bargain, but at some point, I don't know if she got tired of spending her money or she realized she needed to grow up and learn to clean up after herself. Till today whenever we talk, she tells me how grateful she is that I helped her outgrow that phase of her life.
So sometimes whenever I think about the whole situation, I say to myself, what if I wasn't firm enough, what if I didn't put my feet down and control the situation, she would continue living her life that way and not think about the need to clean up after herself, and as for me, I would just keep on complaining and not doing anything about the matter.
So yes, it is ok to be firm sometimes and put up boundaries where there is need be; people will adjust to the situation because if you don't set these boundaries or put your feet down, people will keep walking over you, and trust me, you won't find it funny.
This is my entry for the #Januaryinleo prompt day 13, if you would like to be a part of this initiative, kindly check it out here
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