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Good evening great people of emotions & feelings,I hope you had a lovely day.
I came across this topic about resentment and I was contemplating if to write my story or not because I know that my story is already something that most people are experiencing,but in any case I'll still talk about it.
So follow me up.
Resentment is a feeling of anger or bitterness that arises when one feels they have been treated unfairly in some way. It can be directed toward a particular person, group, or situation, and can manifest in a variety of ways, such as feelings of hostility, bitterness, or indignation.
Resentment can be a natural response to feeling victimized, but it can also be a destructive emotion that can consume a person and harm their relationships and well-being. Holding onto resentment can lead t
o negative thoughts and behaviors, such as aggression, and self-pity.
It is important to acknowledge and process feelings of resentment in a healthy way, such as through talking with a trusted friend or therapist, practicing forgiveness and letting go of grudges, and focusing on positive emotions and experiences. This can help prevent resentment from becoming a chronic and harmful emotion.
My struggling with resentment.
When I was young of about 10 to 11 years old,I never had the opportunity of parental guidance,my parents never had Time to sit us down and discuss with us or have that little communication with their children,they were always very busy to the point of leaving us to stay all alone at home without no one looking after us.
One day, something very bad happened.Normally as a child I believed that my family members cannot harm or hurt me but all the same I was wrong
Night came,my parents weren't back from work and my brother and I were the only people at home when my cousin came around, With my innocent mind I just came out from the bathroom wet and I had towel around me that was when I saw my cousin and he was staring at me and I didn't know any of those signs he was giving me.
After dressing up,I went to the sitting room to stay with brother that was when I saw my cousin trying to keep my brother busy by enticing him with games in his phone you know children are really eager about phone and then he gave him earpiece too and loud the volume of the Game while I joyfully watched him play the game i didn't know that my cousin had intentions with this means he was using.
I was watching my brother play the game,when my full grown up cousin told him to come and show him our kitchen since he wasn't familiar to our house and that he was so hungry.
I followed him with the intentions of showing him our kitchen and the pot of food.
That was when I felt someone grabbed me from behind and I was scared then he started romancing and touching me,I still didn't get the sign and my parents were not yet back and my brother wouldn't even hear my shout since he deceived with games.
I called him uncle Nse what are you doing then I remembered him tell me he wants me to have a taste of what he has.
I started shouting,I screamed,i begged him that I was just a child he shouldn't rape me. But no,oga was already enjoying himself and i remembered seeing blood gosh out
After that he left me and got his phone and went home.
My little bro who was innocent didn't know what happened ,but he saw me trying to clean myself then I told him I fell down.
Few seconds later,my parents came back and I pretended everything went well and I was carrying that burdens around.i couldn't tell my parents either because they didn't create that boldness in us that we can come to them anything we had problems
Infact I was always afraid and scared of my parents so I was like,omor Even if I tell them they won't believe me anyways,so I kept this dangerous act to myself and Always thanking God that by then I didn't see my menstruation,who knows I would Have been a mother of 1 by now.
So,I grew up with that mentality of hating boys,guys,or men anything male gender just because of that single act by my cousin.
I hated them because I thought the will always come after me just like my cousin.
I was the victim here. So anytime I meet my uncle I was always very bittered about him, this anger in me always arise to a very high level.
Anytime I see him,it reminds me of my own blood cousin who victimized me by raping me.
Gosh.
Now,the problem I had was that I didn't have any trusted friend to tell it to or even a therapist,if not all the grudges I had, unforgiveness and resentment wouldn't have been there
Because I hated myself and also hated my cousin too.
When I started University,I learnt about a whole lot and I decided to forgive him,I visited a therapist and i was enlightened more and I discovered that I would have told my parents too but I didn't just want the too families to be affected who fight so I had to figure the solution myself
And I am very happy I was able to forgive him and I was able to drop that past.
I'm also happy I learnt a whole lot during that period,it was giving.