Forgiveness! Forgiveness. For a while now, I have been thinking so hard about what forgiveness is all about
Everyone preaches forgiveness. In fact a lot of persons attributes the ability to forgive as being mature. "Let by gones be by gones".This is what people say all the time. But let's be realistic with ourselves and ask, can by gones really be by gones?
I am a Christian and my religion supports forgiveness. As a young child, my mum would tell us her children, to always say "God bless you" to someone who offends us. I had that mentality that forgiving people is a sign that you are a real child of God and will go to heaven.
But as I got older, I wondered if forgiveness was 100 possible.
I had a very good friend who betrayed my trust some years ago. Before our issue, we were best of friends. We were always seen together and we shared a lot of things together too. She offended me and we quarreled. Every secret that I told her, she ended up telling people when we separated. It hurt me so badly. But I told myself that I would forgive her along the line and I did.
Well, I did forgive her, we started talking again. But one thing was clear, I wasn't close to her like I was before we fell apart. It was a case of using a long spoon to dine with her. To me, she was just there. In fact sometimes when she called, I would decline her call and send a text that I was not disposed to take her calls. It continued for some time, until we stopped talking to each other. We didn't quarrel again. We just stopped talking to each other frequently.
Now the big question is, did I forgive her truly? Is it even possible to forgive someone and then come back to how you both were before whatever incident that occurred happened? Is it possible to forgive and forget? But if you forgive and don't forget, is that still same as forgiveness?
If forgetting means you have forgiven, then does it mean that humans cannot forgive?
Because I know that you cannot forget what someone has done to you. Let us not lie to ourselves, if we have a bad experience with someone, can we even forget that action? Even if we pretend when the person is around to be cool with the person, is that not even a sin?
A lot of things are not clear. So I really want to know, what truly is forgiveness? Can humans forgive? Is it possible to forgive and forget? If you forgive and not forget, is that a sin? If you forgive, and not go back to the way your relationship was with the person who hurt you, does that mean that your forgiveness is not complete?
I would be glad to get these answers. So I will be in the comment section to read what you think are the answer to my questions.
