Its been theree long years, years filled with growth and a lot of me thinking of why. That day is still fresh in my memory like it was yesterday, she looked me in the eyes and told me she was leaving. Her words shot at me like arrows, she said she can't keep on waiting for me since I am not ready for marriage. I saw her walk away, I did all I could, but her mind was already made up. The pain was suffocating, and I kept asking myself if I made the wrong choice by not settling down when she wanted to, but deep down, I knew I wasn’t ready.
I can't pretend or force myself into a lifelong commitment that I know I ain't ready for. I thought she would move on and get married immediately since that was what she wanted so badly, but here we are, three years later, she’s still unmarried. Maybe it was never about the marriage, maybe it was pressure, maybe her family did not like me, or maybe she wanted something more I couldn’t give.
I trusted her, we had plans, I wasn't joking when I said I wanted forever with her, but It's funny how disappointment can turn you into someone entirely different from who you once was. Back then, I thought love was enough to hold us together, I thought being honest about my feelings and readiness for marriage would make her understand and be assured. But, there are times or is it most times, we find out that love isn’t always enough and the fact that you are always honest doesn't mean you will be accepted.
I spent months blaming myself, blaming how I hesitated and questioning myself. But then, I realized that it's alright to be true to myself, its alright to not force myself into what I wasn't ready for. I learnt a lot from that experience, some of which could be of help to you also, one, loving someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your own growth, two, don't pretend to be who you’re not, three, learn to embrace your journey, four, learn to accept that not everyone will be willing to wait.
Most times, disappointment helps refine us. It forces us to face our fears, it forces us to have a rethink on our choices and to be able to hold ourselves accountable and responsible for whatever decisions. Thinking about some of my experiences now, sincerely I have seen and lewrnt a lot, now I have learned to value my peace of mind, even if it comes with the cost of losing someone I love, I have also learned that people leave also cause your paths do not align anymore. Not every relationship/love story is meant to last forever. Sometimes, they just come to teach you to love yourself first before giving that love to someone else.
Disappointment is not always about or always relating to relationships. Life itself disappoints, it would just come punching one hard disappointment isn’t just about relationships. Sometimes it’s life itself that punches you in the gut, it would just leave you gasoimg for breath and wondering what else you haven't done right.
There was a time when I put my all into a business. I invested everything you can think of, my time, effort, every kobo I had, I thought this was the breakthrough I always wished and prayed for, it even affected my relationship then. I believed it would work, nothing shows it would end up otherwise. Then everything happened just so suddenly, it crumbled, everything scattered, couldn't pick a penny back, it broke me, I felt betrayed, everything was off, I couldn't think straight.
I cried, I shouted, I murmured, I had sleepless nights, I blamed everyone, I blamed everything, I blamed myself. I questioned why life seemed so unfair, I question why good intentions won't lead to good outcomes. But with time, I came to understand that disappointment isn’t just an enemy, disappointment is also a teacher. It teaches us, it help humbles us to see beyond our own desires. The fact that we fail doesn't mean that's the end, only if we want it to be, life just has its own way of redirecting us, it makes us know and shows us we have been too comfortable in our assumptions and needed a push.
Disappointment is like a mirror, it would make you see the real, unfiltered version of yourself. It reveals your flaws and fears and it challenges you to grow beyond them. And, with what I have come to see, it might just look like it, but in the real sense, disappointment doesn't break, its how the individual decide to respond to it. If you allow it consume, it will, if you see and use it as a fuel to be stronger and do better, then that you will be.
Dsappointment also is inevitable. Humans will always be humans, meaning, people will fail you, things will always happen, life will always come at you, dreams will shatter and there will be unexpected turns. More than what happens and how you fell, how you rose up matters most. Embrace life with all its flaws and imperfections, there are lessons in those pains, appreciate them, some things just aren’t meant to work out, and sincerely, its alright. Not every closed door is a loss, sometimes it’s a redirection.
Life has its own already written script, it won't always or rarely follow yours, so wear your scars with pride because they tell a story of survival, a story of pushing through when giving up seemed the easiest.
Ever been disappointed by love, life or anything? don't let it crush you, never give it room to have an upper hand. Take your time to heal and grow. Even if the process seems unfair, appreciate it. Disappointment is a part of living, and surviving it makes you stronger than you were before.