The word "Victim" seem to be a strong word whenever or wherever I hear it, I find it hard to call out myself as a victim even in clear situations that I am one. It's not a situation anyone wishes to find themselves but somehow and someway, so many of us have been there even in the most little way anyone can become a victim.
One saddest thing about divorce of couples who have children is the impact it will have on their children and what other mental illness it could cause for them if care isn't taken. I had a similar case as a child when mum left my siblings and I with our dad.
I don't know if I played the victim or people around made me feel like a victim or I was really a victim... Okay, maybe yes I was a victim of divorce/separation of my parents. It affected my relationship with people when I was little and clueless on how to relate with people whose parents were together with them and always had something to say about their parents.
At first, I felt so bad for a long time wishing that mum should have fought whatever situation she had with dad and stayed with us no matter what at least, to keep the one family image intact and so, I started to grow up missing and hating her at the same time.
I can still remember a time my fellow mate laughed at the simple fact that my dad came for a parents teacher meeting in school instead of my mum as most of the parents present were mothers. I felt so bad that I failed to recognize the effort of my dad to keep things running well enough in the absence of mum.
What victimization does is that, it makes it's prey skip the good sides of things and focus on the bad sides. That affected me a lot growing up but thankfully, it didn't become too late for me to realize and learn to live with my reality while I overlook any form of victimization about it.
My thoughts changed when I began to come across and make friends with people who had worse situations than I had, at least, I had my dad doing all he can to train his kids to his best of ability but others didn't have any at all. I felt bad for them and felt better for my situation, that helped me learn from being a victim to becoming more self-conscious.
Being self-conscious, that is worrying about what people may think of me if they should find out about my parents situation made me overlook what is more important... The fact that I'm alive, my parents are alive and dad is doing so great at his work as a father.
But that was before, I've learnt to be self conscious for myself and live with my situation while I still hope that the positive is yet to come. I would always have the mental stress and not feel comfortable in new environment because of the fear that anyone who finds out may want to victimize me about it but somehow, I've learned to overlook all that for my mental health.
I am no victim of parents separation, I choose not to be. Not because I really am not one but because it shouldn't change or affect anything about my life unless I allow it. Now, I tell people about it like it's normal and that is my display of mental freedom and I live with it until the best that is yet to come, comes.
This is my entry to the June Inleo Prompt Challenge with Day 3 focus on "Victimization, self-consciousness". Don't know what to write on Hive today? You're invited to participate.
Images used are mine
