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I recently losed a dear friend and to be sincere I have not been myself since then. He had sickle cell anemia but he always acted strong and did not ever want to be pitiful. His death came to me as a shock and even during the funeral, I could only watch and pretend to be strong for every one else. now I can barely sleep, the thought of him keeps hovering through my mind and sometimes I do not even know what to think. I have never discussed this with anybody and I think I can not hold it any longer. he was more than just a friend to me. he was my brother and basically my only best friend. I just needed to let it out and since I can not discuss it with anybody, am putting it into writing. I need your supports and prayers going through this hard time of my life ...