Amistad y amor, he perdido la cuenta de cuantas veces he confundido estos términos. Al observar una persona sentimos un chispazo y sin querer o queriendo comenzamos a vincularnos con ella, sentimos que capta lo que estamos pensando, vemos como son sus movimientos y que dice.
Nada más parecido al amor, podemos escuchar a las personas, ayudarlos; pero esto no tiene que ver con la idea de responsabilidad y el establecimiento de proyectos. Aunque hay un vínculo que puede durar muchos años no existe ese compromiso o la idea de responsabilidad que implica el sentimiento del amor. Hay un factor erótico que se desplaza hacia el humor, la conversación y el compañerismo, aunque en un futuro ese gran amigo o amiga pueden establecer vínculos más afectivos y lograr enamorarse.
Con nuestros amigos nos vemos, hablamos tonterías, y también conversamos acerca de cosas serias de la vida, construimos una identidad junto a ellos ya que compartimos una serie de códigos, gustos e intereses en común.
Solemos compartir con los amigos temas relacionados con sexualidad, nuestras penas, , crisis y hasta las conquistas siendo esto profundamente terapéutico al permitirnos desahogarnos y de alguna manera escuchamos consejos que muchas veces pueden sacarnos de una situación compleja.
Envidia, competencia, odio y orgullo deben ser sentimientos ajenos en una amistad autentica, siendo ideal que la misma esté libre de conflictos. De un amigo podemos aprender como este logra procesar su realidad, así en muchas ocasiones con observar cómo se manejan un amigo en un determinado asunto crecemos, copiamos, y hasta podemos ser mejores personas.
Confieso que he fallado en relaciones en donde mi intención era ir un paso más allá de la amistad, siendo mis errores: la falta de compromiso con la otra persona, no tener afinidad ni sintonía (falta de química), incapacidad de dejar de hablar de otras parejas anteriores (por parte de ambos), no evaluar el estilo de vida de la otra persona el cual puede que no se adaptase al mio.
Lo expresado anteriormente me han generado citas desastrosas, pero también me ha llevado a tener amistades que han perdurado en el tiempo.
Por un amigo podemos tener afecto, simpatía y confianza, pero por un amor además de todo esto hay que sentir el compromiso mutuo y la responsabilidad que acarrea este tipo de sentimiento.
En el amor de pareja esta debe ser tu amigo o amiga debe establecerse una comunicación mutua basada en la confianza, no hay que hacer daño al otro ni traspasar las barreras de su individualidad.
Hay que crear un entorno de seguridad y respeto en donde la pareja acepte al otro sabiendo cómo es, sin pretensiones de cambio.
Una vez claros nuestros límites, las parejas deben tener la capacidad de perdonarse cuando en diferentes momentos de la vida se comete un error. Además, en situaciones de tensión, y según las reglas de la pareja, hay que ser leales defendiendo lo que se cree y a quien se cree, cumpliendo con los compromisos que se han adquirido siendo fieles a una causa determinada.
No hay amor verdadero sin amistad y siendo repetitivo, con compromiso entre ambos actores.
Creo que con esta publicación, he podido expresar mis puntos de vistas acerca de lo que es la amistad y el amor de pareja, términos que generalmente tendemos a confundir, aunque si hablamos de emociones y sentimientos, hay mucho que entender y aprender.
Tengamos mucho cuidado para no confundir una gran amistad con amor, y de esta forma evitaremos sentimientos negativos como la tristeza y el resentimiento.
Gracias por haberme leído, es un placer interactuar en la comunidad. Saludos a todos.
English Version.
Friendship and love, I have lost count of how many times I have confused these terms. When we observe a person we feel a spark and unwittingly or unwillingly we begin to bond with them, we feel that they pick up on what we are thinking, we see what their movements are like and what they are saying.
Nothing more like love, we can listen to people, help them; but this has nothing to do with the idea of responsibility and the establishment of projects. Although there is a bond that can last for many years, there is not the commitment or the idea of responsibility that the feeling of love implies. There is an erotic factor that shifts towards humour, conversation and companionship, although in the future that great friend may establish more affective bonds and manage to fall in love.
With our friends we see each other, we talk nonsense, and we also talk about serious things in life, we build an identity with them because we share a series of codes, tastes and interests in common.
We tend to share with friends topics related to sexuality, our sorrows, crises and even conquests, being this deeply therapeutic as it allows us to unburden ourselves and in some way listen to advice that can often get us out of a complex situation.
Envy, competition, hatred and pride should be alien feelings in an authentic friendship, being ideal that it is free of conflicts. From a friend we can learn how he or she manages to process his or her reality, so in many occasions by observing how a friend handles a certain matter we grow, we copy, and we can even become better people.
I confess that I have failed in relationships where my intention was to go a step beyond friendship, my mistakes being: lack of commitment to the other person, lack of affinity and attunement (lack of chemistry), inability to stop talking about previous partners (on both sides), failure to evaluate the other person's lifestyle which may not suit mine.
The above has led to disastrous dates, but it has also led to friendships that have lasted over time.
For a friend we can have affection, sympathy and trust, but for a love we must also feel the mutual commitment and responsibility that comes with this kind of feeling.
We tend to share with friends topics related to sexuality, our sorrows, crises and even conquests, being this deeply therapeutic as it allows us to unburden ourselves and in some way listen to advice that can often get us out of a complex situation.
Envy, competition, hatred and pride should be alien feelings in an authentic friendship, being ideal that it is free of conflicts. From a friend we can learn how he or she manages to process his or her reality, so in many occasions by observing how a friend handles a certain matter we grow, we copy, and we can even become better people.
I confess that I have failed in relationships where my intention was to go a step beyond friendship, my mistakes being: lack of commitment to the other person, lack of affinity and attunement (lack of chemistry), inability to stop talking about previous partners (on both sides), failure to evaluate the other person's lifestyle which may not suit mine.
The above has led to disastrous dates, but it has also led to friendships that have lasted over time.
For a friend we can have affection, sympathy and trust, but for a love we must also feel the mutual commitment and responsibility that comes with this kind of feeling.
In the love of a couple, the partner must be your friend. Mutual communication based on trust must be established, without hurting the other person or crossing the barriers of their individuality.
It is necessary to create an environment of security and respect where the partner accepts the other knowing how he or she is, without pretensions of change.
Once our limits are clear, couples must be able to forgive each other when at different times in life a mistake is made. Furthermore, in tense situations, and according to the rules of the couple, one must be loyal by standing up for what one believes in and who one believes in, fulfilling the commitments one has made by being faithful to a particular cause.
There is no true love without friendship and, to be repetitive, with commitment between both actors.
I believe that with this publication, I have been able to express my views on what is friendship and love as a couple, terms that we generally tend to confuse, although if we talk about emotions and feelings, there is much to understand and learn.
Let's be very careful not to confuse a great friendship with love, and in this way we will avoid negative feelings such as sadness and resentment.
Thank you for reading