“Monsurohhhhhhh. I’ve been meaning to reach out for about three days now, but it skipped my mind”.
“Isiahhhhhhh”, I responded with so much excitement. It’s been almost four years since we last talked, and I was shocked when I got his message. We weren’t specifically close as undergraduates, but we used to have conversations when there was a need to. So, getting his message was kind of surprising to me.
Well, the reason for his message was even more surprising. He said, he was having a conversation with some of his friends who complimented his complexion, and his mind went straight to me.
Me? How? I wondered.
He said there was a time he felt so bad about his complexion, and it took only a few words from me to make him change his mind.
It was the usual long holiday, and everybody would resume fresh, beautiful, and calm ready for the new session. We would compliment each other and see the beauties in the slim, fat, dark-skinned and light-skinned people. We would laugh and joke about the intensity of the next lecture, however, one thing struck Isiah among all the things I said.
The funny thing is, I really do not remember when, where or how I said it, but shockingly, he remembered the details, and when he described it, I was shocked.
Isiah is a dark-skinned man with a very beautiful smile. I can describe him like this because that’s my way. I find peace in complimenting people. One day during the new session, the dark-skinned Isiah had toned up, and he indeed looked handsome. People complimented him and admired him, but for me, I said, “why did you change your complexion? You had a very nice skin tone”. I do not remember his response, and I didn’t know that those words influenced him, thank God the effect was positive.
The lightest thing to make or mar an individual is words. You may think you only just spewed what you do not mean, but there are people who take words seriously, and would give it meanings that sometimes, you never thought of.
When you talk to people, be careful. Watch it for you may down the spirit of that individual or raise it.
When I learnt about affirmations, I didn’t know the effect it could have on people, but the funny thing is, hearing those affirming words from the people you love (including yourself) gives some level of confidence that no one would take away from you.
From words, you learn disrespect, from words, you also exhibit the art of kindness. So, why do you think words have no weight?
Even though I didn’t remember the episode with Isiah, he remembered because it made him change his mind to maintaining his brown skin rather than trying to be fair-skinned. In fact, he chatted me up because people were complimenting his complexion because now, he radiates in the beauty of his brownness.
Now, imagine I had said it in a harsh way, or I had condemned him? That’s how he would remember how I downed his spirit because of a mistake.
Watch your words because you may be hurting an already hurting individual that’s trying to find a footing.