Sometimes I just sit and wonder about all the choices that I have made, you know that feeling when you look back at your past journey and see all the turns and commas maybe where you should have gone left but you went right? It is just like a heavy cloud that just follows you around, telling you that you could have done so much better if only you knew then what you know now.
I remember when I was much younger , then I used to think that i had it all figured out at that point in my life , Like maybe the world was just waiting for me to come and conquer it, and I had all the time in the world , But you see life has a funny way of teaching you lessons you think you can overcome, and It just doesn't come with an instruction manual, and sometimes you just gotta learn things in the hard way.
There are days when I think about the friendships that I let slip through my fingers , people who that were genuinely good to me , but I was just too blind or stubborn to see it at the point in time, Just looking back now,I think I can see all the red flags that I ignored and all the green lights I actually missed, and sometimes it does keep me up in the night thinking about what could have been if I had just paid more attention to certain kind of things.
But you know what? Just despite all these regrets and so many missed chances, I am starting to just realize that maybe ,I mean just maybe,they weren't all for nothing , Every mistake did teach me something valuable, and every wrong turn led me to discover more new paths that maybe I wouldn't have found otherwise. It's like they say, sometimes you just gotta get lost to find yourself.
You see I used to be so hard on myself, I mean just beating myself up for every little mistake as if maybe perfection was the only acceptable outcome ,But I am learning to be nicer to myself now,and to understand that making mistakes in life does not just make me a failure, it just makes me humanAnd there's something beautiful about embracing our humanity, flaws and all.
And yeah the truth is that none of us really knows what are doing. We are all just finding it out as we move along , making the best decisions that we can with the info we have already. And yeah…. sometimes, despite our good intentions, something don't work out the way we have planned. That is just life for you, it is so unpredictable and also messy, but also full of unexpected joys and surprises.
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