Number One
Garbage goes in and out of marriage. The first lesson you learn about marriage approximately six months into it is this. You won't take long to realize that your marriage will produce the same results no matter how much work and dedication you put into it. ONLY you can water your marriage to grow it.
Number Two
If happiness is what you're getting married to, I'm sorry; you've boarded the wrong vessel. No one can truly make you happy in marriage. You'll quickly realize that you have no control over your spouse's behavior; the only behaviors you can influence are your own. Your happiness will fluctuate depending on your partner's disposition, temperament, and state of mind at any given time. No matter how lovely your spouse is, he or she cannot make you happy all the time because they are not ice cream. Therefore, please enter marriage with your own self-happiness and satisfaction.
Number Three
No one truly changes simply like that; what we refer to as CHANGE is actually making adjustments to accommodate the other person. Be ready and aware that, even with fasting and prayer, you cannot expect your husband to change overnight. After three months of marriage, a spouse who has spent years mastering their addictions and routines cannot simply give them up; they would, but it will take time. Marriage teaches you to have patience with your spouse as they continue to improve so that things are more amenable to both of you.
Number Four
I'm telling you, a marriage in the kingdom is a selfless act of missionary service. For this reason, I feel bad for anyone who coerces someone into marriage. Never try to force someone into marriage; if you force someone to get married to you, you'll keep forcing them to stay married to you. It is either they want to go on the mission with you or not. Guys, marriage comes with a very high price to pay, some of which will be inconveniences and sacrifices. Get married to someone who sees you as their life's work.
Number Five
Many of the traits and requirements on your list for a marriage already exist as RAW MATERIALS, so don't focus on the finished goods if you want to find true fulfillment in your partner. When you get married, you'll realize that you have to plan a lot of the things you want your spouse to do, how you want them to look, etc. A perfect union is merely a fantasy. In actuality, your amount of support for your spouse is what determines how beautiful your marriage is.
Number Six
Every marriage has its own distinctive qualities; no two marriages are alike or have the same design. There will be temptations to compare your spouse and your marriage to that of your neighbor. Resist the urge to do so because doing so will start problems in your home. Why should the success of two marriages be judged similarly if they do not have the same conflicts? Comparison is a thief, and it will take away everything your marriage has worked so hard to achieve.
Number Seven
Even contented couples fight. I'm talking about a really contented couple that occasionally fight about insignificant issues. No matter how closely you think you are compatible, there will always be some degree of dissimilarity in many aspects of your marriage. When such moments of conflict arise, don't assume your spouse doesn't love you. When you start fighting about trivial things like who forgot to flush the toilet, don't assume that some devils have entered your home. Prepare yourself for these emotional conversations because these minor disputes are unavoidable. But every marriage wants to prevent those differences from becoming insurmountable.
Number Eight
If you spend more time celebrating and appreciating your partner's shortcomings than their qualities, you will quickly lose the joy in your relationship. It will be easier for you to accept your spouse's shortcomings the earlier you realize that he or she won't be able to completely satisfy your needs. Many married couples are missing this essential component; they haven't adjusted their behavior to make up for their partner's limitations and areas of weakness. The hardest aspect of making space is having to make sacrifices.
Number Nine
Sir, Ma, you can't have it all. Marriage will teach you how to let go of things. You will learn to let some of these things go, my brothers, especially the ones that don't directly benefit or harm your marriage. This includes some of your hobbies, dreams, and personal desires. That relationship, that enterprise, that religious affiliation, that age group, the night out with your favorite clique, and the progressive alienation from your family. No one can have everything.
Number Ten
At various times in their life, your partner will go through a lot of changes, including giving birth, changing jobs, starting a new business, etc. If you want your marriage to endure, you must consistently decide to remain attracted to your spouse.
Number Eleven
Please continue having sex. Although it can be quite tempting to prioritize other obligations while married, be sure you prioritize your sex life. Many people believe that sexual activity between partners should occur at random and without regard to a schedule. I ask that you refrain from enforcing the Ten Commandments in the bedroom because they are not totally applicable to very homes. If you both agree that it is necessary for your marriage, set alarms with date reminders and make a schedule for it. Your marriage starts to fail the moment you stop being intimately connected to one another.
Number Twelve
You can try, but your relationship with God will determine whether or not your marriage is successful. Any couple that does not put God at the center of their relationship will always face uncontrollable disaster. Make collective prayer as necessary as breathing. Set seasonal spiritual objectives for your marriage and pursue them jointly. Depending on how far you push as a relationship, you can go anywhere. Wherever you stop with Him, the Holy Spirit will stop with you as well.
All pictures were taken during the wedding ceremony of
I remain your favourite writer, Blackdovy.