To be honest, no one goes into a relationship or even anything at all without having expectations, it's just that some people have learnt not to place high expectations on things. I bet we all at some point have or have had a happily ever after thoughts and expectations for our relationship which is not a bad thing. But the thing yeah, is that people now go into relationship with some unrealistic expectations....things they have imagined in their head and believe without a doubt that it should flow like way...this is where watching too much of romance movies and following online couples comes in.
You know love has a way of tricking us into thinking that once you have the four letter words then the future is set, it paints a picture in your head that cancels all the red flags you should look out for and gives you a Cinderella story with this knight in shinning armor and the fantasy life without any issues at all. We forget reality and surrender totally into the wings of romance as we fly without any thoughts of what awaits us. Then it becomes too late by the time reality set it and you realize it was all a scam.
Well, not because it was a scam by default but because you set it up that way.
Does happily ever after exist?
Now do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in having expectations in a relationship, but the moment you begin to have this unrealistic expectations, like expecting your partner to change his personality or beliefs for you, or expecting you and your partner to agree about everything without ever getting into an argument, then you get disappointed and frustrated when you do not see these things happen, the thought that he or she may not love you clouds your mind and you begin to turn your attention away. However, having realistic expectations prepares you for whatever may come, it tells you that, your partner is not perfect and there would certainly be issues, disagreement, ups and downs et al. It gives a wide perspective of being in a relationship with someone and the responsibility that comes with it.
Is it bad to want and imagine something good and beautiful as you see in the movies or social media? Of course not, but don't forget to be reasonable about it and actually working with your partner to make it work as you know takes two to tango and to achieve that beautiful relationship, it takes hard work and realistic expectations. Not just having this expectations but communicating them to your partner...I am actually guilty of this, sometimes I feel my partner needs to know things even without me telling him, for me "he should know", (call it a female thing) not exactly a right thing of course.
Relationships become rocky when men and women fail to acknowledge they are biologically different and when each expects the other to live up to their expectations. Much of the stress we experience in relationships comes from the false belief that men and women are now the same and have the same priorities, drives and desires - Barbara Pease
