Some time ago I started a nofap journey but I haven't been very disciplined at documenting it, mainly due to the embarrassment I feel when talking about these things. It might be silly but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels discomfort from it.
Anyways, I've had some good weeks and then relapses. It's haaaard to keep away because it''s so easy to get a fix from porn, any time I'm feeling anxious it's the first thing that comes to mind.
Lately I've come across something that has proved helpful. Every time I get an urge, I tell myself these five things and I make sure to go thoroughly through them, no fast forward or anything.
By the time I'm done repeating this, I no longer want to relapse, so it's pretty effective. Thought I'd share this in case it's helpful for someone out there.
Five things to remember before you watch porn
You are about to train your brain to see sex as something that needs no context, and therefore invalidating the real life social interactions that come with it. This reinforces seeing life through a sexualized filter which increases social anxiety and detriments relationships.
If you're a guy like me, there's a chance you do this to relieve stress and lower anxiety. If so, it's unlikely you prepare and do some warm up, lubricate your tool, and give yourself time to gradually ease into it. By going on a hurry about this, you're literally hurting your penis and we shouldn't be doing that, on the contrary we should care for it and be grateful for all it allows us to experience.
Porn lowers your endurance on real life sex and also decreases your drive. The more porn you do, the less hard you get.
Just like drugs, porn overstimulates the rewards system of the brain, giving you a big high but at the the cost of a big low afterwards. This messes with your emotions and makes them less stable.
Semen has the power to create life. Think well if you want to throw that away into seeing other people get laid, instead of using this energy to get yourself laid for real, or transform it into something creative instead. You can also channel it into spiritual power.
Porn isn't good or bad, it just is. However, in my case it's necessary to quit it for two main reasons: it has shown to have control over me as I haven't been able to put it down, and also because I have a lot of sexual intrusive thoughts which I can't even begin to describe how miserable this makes my life feel.
I don't talk about it much but it's a huge issue and one that takes a lot of my energy, as well as the possibility of being happy. It literally screws up almost any social situation and makes me feel only at ease when I'm with a sexual partner, which isn't healthy because it makes me depend heavily on that person.
Anyways, with porn being the most consumed content on the internet, I can't be there only one dealing with this, even if most people choose to remain silent about it. So, to you silent reader who relates but will abstain from commenting out of embarrassment, I wish you strength and courage. Let's beat this shit and fix our lives.