Will you defy everything for love?
They say love can change people. Even their strong beliefs sometimes can be influence by it to the point of doing things and go against their own beliefs. And even their will that is stronger than rock and unbreakable will be scattered too once love hit them. Because they are in love.
Hello beautiful Hivers, Hello Love and Sexuality Community, it is my first post here and I just want to share my past experience about Love and Relationship, what I learned about it and what I realize. I hope you also learn something from this. Thank You!
"Relationship will only distract your studies so study first before anything else. If I find out that you have a boyfriend, you will stop on your study this instant and I will give you to that boyfriend of yours. He will be responsible to your from now on."
I always thought that Mom is being unfair to me. What's wrong on having a boyfriend? It's not like I will get married quickly if ever I decided to have a boyfriend. That is why I thought it is really unfair. I know some of my classmates that has BF or GF and they were supported by their parents. Why Mom can't do that to me? It's just sad.
That is why, even though she told me never get into relationship, I defy her and had lot of BF. Though all of them was just on text or on chat, still I experience to be in a relationship with them. I experience to be loved. I experience to be cared. The attention that I can't get with the parents, I will get it to my text mates or chat mates.
College came, that is where I experience a real relationship. We met to have a short talk and just to tell each other how much we love each other, but for a short time only. And it is still a secret yes. I'm still on College so Mom is more stricter to me than before. But I can always find ways to communicate with him.
And, he's from the same barangay so if I want to see him, I will just tell him and after that he will go to Mom's store and pretend like a real customer. I experience being a bad girl for going against Mom's word but I am just on love that time. There still fears but love conquer it all, lol.
I never did that to anyone because he is really the first man who's living in the same barangay that became my boyfriend. Though some of my ex's is just a few ride from home, still I never allowed them to meet me. I mean, we are just in a relationship on chat or text. I don't really just meet anyone.
Except to this one, let's call him Ron. He's the first man I allowed to enter our house without Mother knowledge. Off course it is a secret relationship so really had to hide it. What's worse is, I let it happen while Mother is in the house on the same day. She's at the store so I have the guts to do it. Lucky us we were never found.
I don't know, I feel so in love with him that every bit of my sanity disappeared and was replaced by the desire to be with Ron. He is really sweet and will do anything for me that is why I fall for him. We promised a lot from each other. We promised that we will be forever be legal on both side of the family and soon get married. That's how crazy we are to each other.
There is this one time that we plan to "make love" it's not just a sex. It was our Acquaintance Party, everything was set and it is actually my promise to him. I am so ready that time to give everything although there's a bit of fears. I am also thinking hard and the decision is still the same. We're gonna do it. I'm excited and afraid at the same time.
Night came, the party started. The clock is ticking and is about to reach the set time we set. I am having a cold feet already. I want to back down but I know deep inside me I want to do it with him. I know what I want and that is one of it. All of my inhibitions was covered by excitement and those advices that My Mother said to me was set aside and totally forgotten. But fears is still there.
And the time finally came, Ron texted me saying he is already outside. And with my shaking hands I bid my goodbye to my other classmates. I hate my reason that time because I said Mom is asking me to go back home already which is not true. Just for this I really did lie to them. I go with Ron. We are hodling hands while walking.
We finally arrive on the place and I am having a really cold feel already. My mind is still fighting with my heart if this is really what I want. We started everything both shaking because we have no idea if what we're doing is right. But to someone who's in love, nothing is wrong. We let our mouth and eyes talk. We forget everything.
But in the end, it didn't happened. Nothing's happened. I didn't allow it to happen because while we're doing it my Mother's tired face appears in my head. Her every sermon to me and how she want me to finish my study. I can't let her down for that simple wish of her. All she wanted is for my own good and i realize it that time.
What comes next after this short joy that I will experience if I do it with him? After the delicious feelings that I experience while I'm in his arms, will I get a never ending happiness? Or was it just a short joy and nothing more? What if problems arise after that? I will regret that for sure. All I can say now is, I made the right decision that time.
I have no regrets but just gratefulness because I have my Mother who guided me even until today. It's not like she wants to sabotage my happiness, but just because she love me and she don't want me to get lost and take another path. She just guided me on the right path and good thing I realize that earlier. What if not right? I won't be this happy if ever.
This is actually a real story. My story I mean. I'm not a perfect kid and I have pair share of mischievousness, I was also once a pain in the ass kid of my mother but not to the point of doing things that I will surely regret later. I have a lot of issue before to my Mom but when I get old, I finally understand her. And I am glad that all those hidden feelings I have for her just vanish. I am now a free soul with full of happiness. Contented but will surely grab an opportunity if ever it knocks on my door. I am Happy.
