One thing that is constant in all of my Podcasts is the fact that relationships should begin on the basis of friendship and effective communication. This communication will allow each partner discuss their expectations from the relationship even up till marriage.

If the lady know she wouldn't be interested in taking her husband's name, she should have discussed it with her husband beforehand so they can come to an agreement whether it should be done or not.

One thing I'd say is that communication is lacking, another is respect. The lady obviously doesn't respect her spouse or deem him worthy of her.