As much as a lot of people in relationships tend to like their partners within arms reach or at close proximity so they could see them as much as they want, whenever they want while performing activities together which makes things more interesting, sometimes circumstances dictates for us how our relationships would go and we end up not having it the way we want.
Sometimes our partners may have to relocate due to school, advancement of career via work, or unforeseen circumstances which are completely out of our control. The greater question would be - will you be able to maintain the relationship with the distance?
While some peeps may readily respond with the words 'of course I can', or 'No I cannot', making a decision is actually tougher when you're in the situation than when you're simply being theoretical because relationships have to do with emotions. Whether we like it or not, we are subject to our emotions.
Before the question of coping with the distance comes in, the relationship must have begun with close proximity with your partner. Time, energy, resources, and sometimes money has been invested, hence it becomes really difficult to make a decision when life actually puts you in the position to choose whether to let go or not. In the long run, things happen and the distance becomes inevitable.
Sometimes couples would have to be away from each other for months, and sometimes up to one year or more. Does this mean the relationship would end even with the initial time, energy and resources already put in? It better be a NO because I'm not ending my relationship just like that.
Even married couples experience situations where they have to be in separate cities or separate towns due to work or businesses. Imagine being married to a person that travels for businesses and may sometimes be away for up to 3 months, will the marriage cease to exist? Or would you end your relationship because your partner had to travel to another country for studies?
It's not as simple as saying yes or No. The answer depends on both parties willingness to come to an agreement via effective discussion regarding how long the distance should last and how they would cope through the distance during the away-time.
As long as the love exists there would always be a way to cope through the distance, while ensuring that the relationship doesn't go stale.
Coping through the distance
The third party approach
Due to the distance, some people tend to conform to having another partner within their location pending the time they'd be able to come in contact with their actual partner. As much as we'd readily like to blame them because it is literally cheating regardless of the reason behind it, the fact still remains that as humans we have emotional needs, and regardless of how much we feel we're in control, we're still subject to our emotions.
Even when they do not intend to have a third party, due to the fact that there's someone constantly bugging them while giving them the necessary attention, they tend to give in to their emotional needs.
Some people appreciate having their partner around them most of the time, or within arms reach whenever they need them, so the distance makes things difficult. Having a fling or third party is their own way of coping while still retaining their love for the actual partner. Unfortunately, having a fling can be dangerous since the fling could end up into the real thing and the actual relationship may be on the line.
Taking advantage of social media
Some cope by spending a lot of time on communication via face-time, calls and texts regardless of how busy they could get on each end. They simply make sure that the constant communication is present while updating each other on everything and anything going on in their lives, thus providing their partner with the assurance that the love still exists and that they're going to push through regardless of the obstacle before them. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it works.
My advice?
I'm not a professional on such things, so I'd rather not give any advice, as I still got a lot to learn. I'd say you should do what works best for you.
Apart from the two coping mechanisms mentioned above, what other coping method is there, and what would you do if you were ever find yourself in such situation? Don't tell me you'd quit the relationship. Trust me, it's easier said than done.
I want to say a special thanks to 