I saw it on Facebook. Someone else had explored it, and while not giving the location away, the estate agent sign did the damage. 'For Auction,' it stated, bids start at £25,000.
It was a steal for a detached property in the middle of nowhere, except it was roadside on a major-looking but hardly busy road.
I don't generally do these types of explores, as some other people do.
Call the estate agent on false presences of being interested, only to take lots of photographs and claim it as some kind of trophy on 'that' social media site?
Well fuck that, we were going in unannounced, climbing over the weeds and brambles and through one of the many holes.
"Wait... it didn't look like this on the advertising blurb?", I mentioned to 
...'some bastard had cleared away all the trees and weeds. Why can't people leave things alone; cunts!'...
You could barely see the house, due to the amount of greenery present and that made it all the more appealing. Someone had done some gardening, so we would have to pick up the scraps, what a bummer.
Getting inside would be easier, and I would be able to emerge possibly scratch-free for once.
While climbing through what was once a window is easy enough, the lazy bastard in me generally looks for an easier point of access and that was the back door which no longer exists.
The roofing style, while natural and very close to nature was a little extreme for my tastes.
Yes..., well this is going to need some work. A nice retro fireplace, and very seventies but getting up close and personal could be an issue if you don't want the roof to collapse.
If I could get a leg up, and perch on those beams I could look through the dormer window. What beams you say, those rotting ones? Yes exactly.
Some rooms were better than others, but none were habitable in their current state.
Is it one of those weird Welsh ovens again, that co-habits every ancient dwelling?
What would happen if I plugged in a light bulb?
Tread carefully and you can enter this room. I do wonder what authorised visits allow. 'You can't go in there due to Health and Safety issues', is likely the response.
Carpet fibres encrusted the muck from the upper floor; now to find the stairs so we can go up and have a closer look.
It's one of those low-hanging ceilings. I wonder if they were a passing phase of a past decade, long gone?
A single bottle of sauce resides in what used to be the grocery cupboard, I had to look a little closer intent on the brand.
It is a Heinz product and the shape looks suspiciously like HP sauce, but the label doesn’t appear to so. I figured HP sauce to always be the last bottle standing.
...For my American readers, HP Sauce is Steak Sauce over there. Probably the same taste, I never tried it...
After a good look around we failed miserably in our conquest of the upper floors. What could have been lurking there, what did we miss?
We judged that the top floor was inaccessible without a ladder. A strange way to get around, but it does take all types and is a great form of exercise.
Directly across the road, lay some outhouses filled will miscellaneous crap. Nothing to get excited about within unless you get your erections from fiddling with broken-down drawers.
The auction started at £25,000. I wonder if there were any takers?
FOOTNOTE:
I was intrigued; did someone buy this wreck in the hope of renovation? I struggled to find it again and did only after checking my emails.
I tend to email myself with the agenda for the day and found it tagged onto the end. It was only added as an afterthought not being one of the highlights of the day.
Source - Google Maps
It's looking rather worse, just over a year later. Someone has removed the roof and maybe has run out of money. What a waste. It looked kind of cute before.
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