"It's open you say?"
We drove past "Sheffield Old Coroners Court", and I looked at the building in dismay before reluctantly settling on some yellow lines as a resting place for my car.
This generally means a £30 fine on return but as it was Sunday, and the streets near empty I figured it was worth the risk.
Every street was lined with cars, and the only spaces were street-lined with yellow. This is a typical town centre in the UK, with nowhere to park unless you pay.
The Old Coroner's Court on Nursery Street dates back to 1913 and the building features a coroners' court, mortuary, post-mortem rooms and viewing chapel. It is also up for sale and permission has been granted for demolition.
This historic building was damaged during the Second World War Blitz and some digging tells me it closed in 1974.
...'Image taken in 1914, some places don't change a bit!'... - Source
Why dismay you might say? That's because I have a poor track record of gaining entry to these crusty old buildings. They are always sealed when I arrive, some taunting me with encouraging words, beckoning me to enter before slamming shut their doors and windows with tyrannical laughter.
Such is the age and attitude of these ancient curmudgeons with a lousy sense of humour.
Approaching from a back street 
At least we were out of sight, and our next stage would be Karen-free.
The 'yard', if that's what you could call it was extremely overgrown and difficult to circumvent with any sense of speed. Everything looked sealed with added metal bars at the windows.
We made our way up the steps, scrambling over long weeds and trees that had decided it was a great idea to partially block the path.
On reaching the top I had to duck quickly as people were walking past on the other side of the wall. It is better to keep incognito than have the pigs arriving uninvited.
This door was manageable but looked fucking awkward to climb through.
Between the layers was a small gap, but not small enough for a breather before attempting the second door, and the second one was even higher for my non-too-stretchy legs, especially as the floor underneath the approach had a nice hole!
After much struggle, panting, and moaning I stretched my leg on the far side hoping for a solid landing. This was asking a little much of "Sheffield Old Coroners Court", and a large hole awaited far side me if my aim was wayward.
'...Actually.., it's the same hole that continues both sides of this equally upper holey door'...
…'there could have been anything under that loose piece of wood including fresh air, I had no fucking idea'…
From here it could only get better right?
Not really. This was one of the worst, most sodden derps I have come across that is still managing somehow to hang together. Walking up there was painfully dangerous, with gaping holes everywhere I looked.
You might say, 'walk on the edges', but that's not a wonderful idea either.
How I navigated down this dark, gloomy waterlogged corridor without incident I will never know.
But still, some delights were about to be revealed. A courtroom full of those stupid wigs the judges wear, manacles to keep the prisoners contained, or maybe a rotten decaying chair.
Scenes like these tell me the copper thieves have long gone and there would be nothing left.
The door key looks quite new and was a surprise. I was expecting imagery from Victorian times.
The discarded kitchen contained cups, plug sockets, and cupboards installed within the last twenty years. Could it be I had misjudged "Sheffield Old Coroners Court"?
The court could have been closed in 1974, but the building has been used in post internet days.
The paperwork was nothing exciting and did not list the criminals due to stand trial today. Come to think of it, where was this evasive courtroom?
We moved from room to room fearing the floor was going to collapse any second. Some sections were far too dangerous to navigate without death, and I tend to know my limitations.
This doesn't look like a courtroom at all. Where's the polished Mahogany seating, furniture, hanging nooses, and stand where the guilty are placed?
The door on the far side of the chair was securely locked. All the goodies were perhaps behind it and down the stairs. We never found any.
We figured our luck was not going to last much longer and made for that awful entry point in which I struggled just as badly to exit.
Ouch, my fucking balls again. It's a wonder I have any left, or jeans without holes in the crotch area.
This was the view from the top. It was down the metal stairs, through the jungle, and out through the back hole.
What an utter shithole, if you are thinking of a visit, DON'T! The only positive aspect of our visit to "Sheffield Old Coroners Court" was that I didn't get a parking ticket.
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