My neighbor died this past weekend on Saturday. He was such a great person. HE helped everyone and would give you the shirt off his back in a snow storm. I haven’t said much because I was also going through the crap with my best friend and pet Bailey. But now that Bailey is much better and on the mend and my neighbor’s funeral is tomorrow it is hitting home that he is gone.
Losing him is more difficult than I thought it would be. I mean I had only known him for about three years, but I had started to grow close to him. In good weather we spent time on his front porch in rocking chairs talking about our faith and life in general. He was having a big impact on my life during this time while I am struggling. We shared many meaningful conversations about life and religion with each other.
That said, I know it is important to stay positive and remember the positive experiences I was able to share with him. I know I should find solace in reflecting on those conversations with him, along with the insights and perspective we shared.
I went to his showing at the funeral home this evening. It was a difficult thing for me emotionally. I did not show anything outwardly but kept my sorrow inside. I knew it was an opportunity to remember and honor my friend and neighbor, which I did. I sung his praises to his wife and children. I despise attending funerals but knew I needed to face the reality of his passing.
They say it is okay to feel a range of emotions during this time, such as sadness, grief, or even relief that my friend and neighbor is no longer suffering. I also know he is where he wanted to be when he passed away, in the arms of the Lord. This does give me somewhat of a sense of closure and peace after seeing him one last time and saying goodbye.
However, now that I am home, I just feel empty. I am not sure if this is a normal feeling or not. I will have to discuss it with my VA counselor next time we talk. I do know I feel emotional exhausted after this last week, and especially after my visit to the funeral home.
I guess it just takes time to process these feelings and emotions like any other loss. No matter the time that passes though, the neighborhood will never be the same without him. And I will sure miss our talks.
Thanks,
Joe
Note: Image source is from Canva.com