I'm as guilty as the next person of "getting stuck in my ways," and I'll be the first to admit that we sometimes have to come face-to-face with some unpleasant facts when we need to break out of a patterns that actually doesn't serve our highest and best self.
Some "ways" are just not that great to get stuck in.
Whereas I can definitely appreciate that we all experience moments of crisis from time to time... there has to be a limit. And sometimes there's a line that gets crossed where people seem to be almost addicted to "having a crisis."
At which point "being in a crisis" pretty much loses its meaning and urgency.
I've known rather too many people along the way who seemed to need an "emotional wet-nurse" to manage even the simplest things in life.
It's not OK.
It crosses a line into the territory of learned helplessness.
Of course, I may just be cynical or jaded, but I grew up with a (possibly?) excessive sense of self-reliance. My "crises" — to the extent I actually had any — were not something for me to go and dump on someone else's front door step!
And when something truly did seem to be heading south, I was more likely to pick up the phone and dial a therapist, rather than take a psychological dump in a friend's front yard.
What brought this to mind is a young friend who increasingly seems to think that everyone she knows should be "on call" 24/7 to help her negotiate her crises.
Nothing wrong with leaning on a friend... now and then... but when you make it a regular "crutch," you're likely going to end up with relatively few friends, after a while.
Of course, I am loath to be too harsh here. "Back in the day" we were more likely to bottle up our crises than talk about them... and it's definitely a sign of better mental health to feel comfortable talking about issues.
It just becomes a bit much when it starts to feel like everything constitutes a crisis!
Sometimes I just want to shake a few people and remind me that 99% of the population deals with these same challenges on a daily basis and they aren't really crises, at all... just normal parts of the spectrum of human experience.
Which brings to mind a question I often ponder... of whether we — as a society/culture — have become more and more accustomed to enabling people's psychological disturbances, rather than effectively working towards healing them.
But these are things most people aren't willing to hear.
We want to deal with our crises and have encouragement on how to manage them... but NOT to have a deeper look at why we have so many crises. Because — after all — if we do that, we might be expected to take personal accountability for our responses...
And that's neither fun, nor easy!
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2023-12-13 00:47PST
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