Many many years ago, I remember my auntie once commenting that I seem to be a very "rewards-oriented" person.
She wasn't trying to criticize, she was merely observing that I very rarely would do anything simply for the sake of doing it, only if there was "something in it" for me.
In retrospect, I have to admit that her observation was really pretty accurate.
That said, the "rewards" I typically seek are not necessarily monetary or even tangible, they can be as simple as feeling a certain way or maybe learning something.
To be honest, I think most people are rewards oriented in some manner of speaking, even if they're not willing to admit it. Whenever we do something we are invariably motivated by something, even if we don't directly think of it in terms of seeking a reward.
Perhaps part of the learning here is that I tend to be a very slow moving person, and getting into motion involves what feels like a considerable amount of effort. As such, I have never been some kind of Energizer Bunny who just keeps moving for the sake of moving. My preferred state is stillness. Non-activity.
So what does that have to do with the title of this post?
Well, looking back across my life, I increasingly have come to the recognition that in order for me to put together any sort of consistency with what I am undertaking, the rewards — whatever form they may take — also need to be consistent and reliable.
Perhaps an analogy would be that it's a bit like going to work and stopping work if your paycheck stops. Not gonna keep going if you're not paying me!
As a very minor example... with Hive feeling very meh these days, my ability and willingness to post and participate consistently is not nearly as good as it is when the community is feeling optimistic and it seems like there is a positive atmosphere here. And it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the price of the token, rewards or Hive power.
For example, I set myself the goal (at the beginning of the year) to get back above 10,000 HP by the end of the year and that feels like a less and less realistic ambition. But note that I was not talking about dollars and cents, I was purely talking about Hive power, and yet my enthusiasm for reaching this goal diminished quite a bit since the beginning of the year.
I suppose it's an admission that hard times do not motivate me to work harder... quite the opposite... and I recognize that has been true for most of my life.
I still try to force myself to be consistent, but the key word here is force. There's nothing natural or easy about it, it is very much forced. And I say that, even as it relates to activities I truly enjoy.
Strange things you learn about yourself, sometimes...
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2026.04.01 23:58 PST
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