I watched a funny little video a while ago where a guy finds the phone number for an old teacher he never used to like. He calls him up and tells him who he is. The teacher remembers him and even remembers the school report the guy brings up where the teacher wrote that he'd never amount to anything. At which point the guy says, "Well I just thought you might be interested to know that you were right."
I had to laugh at the time, but it got me thinking, what exactly would be defined as amounting to something? Do we have to be famous, or just have made an impact on those around us? Did the woman who cooked large batches of food and took it to feed kids in poor areas amount to something if she didn't achieve anything else in her life?
I once had a conversation with a lady where we discussed what intelligence encompassed. Are you only intelligent if you get good grades in school, or is that amazing cake maker who does incredible celebration cakes just as intelligent despite not achieving high grades at school?
My sister has a PhD, so she has the title of Dr. She has always done well academically and I've always looked up to her. I could never figure out what I wanted to do in life myself, though. For a long time I thought of myself as a failure, yet she never saw me that way. She sometimes envied what I had in life. This year she turned 50 and her career is not the most important thing in her life and I don't think it ever has been for long. She has never been married and has never been successful long term in relationships. Life can get very lonely for her at times. So she has achieved the things that society seems to rate as being what makes you amount to something, but it didn't bring her happiness and security. Her ballroom dancing and cake making are the things that give her a feeling of accomplishment.
We have a tendency to judge people's success and status on whether they have been awarded accolade from other people. After all, we all want to be acknowledged and praised. My daughters did dance and competitive gymnastics. They won medals and trophies and I can remember the excitement and high they were on when they received those accolades. Yet it wasn't long before those medals and trophies went in a box with the buzz of the win long over. What they gained in the long run from their time doing these sports is what they learnt from the training. The knowledge that nothing comes from nothing and hard work and perseverance can get you a long way.
I've seen many parents who seem to try to get their sense of achievement through their children. There were always groups of parents at gymnastics training who would be boasting about how amazing their kids were and that inevitably led to them bad mouthing other kids to either feel smug about their low ability or out of jealousy. I spent most of my time sitting alone because of these types of mums, until one day when I met a mother who brought a group of us together who would rather just chat and socialise without that kind of negative vibe. We had a lot of laughs and it made the coaches smile too.
Now this has got me thinking about all the people I've met and gotten to know in my life and I wonder if I could say of any of them that they amounted to nothing. I really can't, but is that because I'm so low down that scale myself or maybe I just don't have an answer or even the qualifications to set that standard. Perhaps it's a case of perspective and depending where you stand you view will be different.
Someone once said that we want our children to be amazing and do well in life, yet the reality is that they will most likely be mediocre. That's not a bad thing, though, the majority of the population is mediocre. Only a few people can stand out, because if we all did, then no-one would be standing out any more. For the most part, those who love their kids are always proud of them whatever. I hear so many parents wax lyrical about their adult children and how wonderful they are, even when it's just to say how loving, kind or hard working they are.
So what about you? Do you feel there is a standard that meets "amounting to something"? Do you feel like you amounted to something yourself, or do you even care?