RELATIONSHIP SHATTERED BECAUSE I ASKED A BOSOM FRIEND FOR A LOAN ....
Picture taken at Gloucester during my last official trip to UK before retirement
I thought retirement would finally bring peace: I'm talking about a situation where you won't anxiously expect alarm from the clock; a situation where you are not under pressure to rush to work. You are not at the mercy of deadlines. I thought retirement would be the end of stress and the beginning of happiness. But life has a way of teaching lessons that no classroom or office can ever teach.
In retirement, she is solidly beside me like the rock of Gibraltar and makes life meaningful; a good wife is greatest asset
Retirement has revealed human nature in ways I never expected. Some lessons are painful, while some are surprising. I'm compelled to change the way I see people, handle relationships, money, and even myself. The relationships I had with someone I thought was one of my best friends was shattered when I asked him for soft loan; he blocked my number so I couldn't reach him after making the request. One of the first things retirement revealed to me is that many relationships are tied to usefulness. Before retirement, there were no idle moments for my phone; it rang often. People checked on me regularly. My opinions seem important; I felt visible.
At Premier Inn, Gloucester, UK; I enjoyed work life while it lasted
Now retired, the office identity has disappeared; reality is quietly and gradually unfolding. Some people who once acted very close suddenly become distant, not because I offend them, but because my position, influence, or daily relevance has changed. At first, this realization hurt but over time, I began to understand that human beings naturally gravitate toward value, opportunity, benefit and survival. Honestly, that realization didn't make me bitter; instead, it made me wiser and tough.
Waiting at zebra crossing, while exploring Gloucester environment
Retirement has revealed to me the difference between genuine love and convenient association. The people who truly care about me stick with me unconditionally; number one on that list is my beautiful wife and I really appreciate her.
Another lesson from retirement is that society often celebrates productivity more than humanity. I can recall an acquaintance who asked me, “What are you doing now?” What such inquiries sometimes really mean is: “Are you still relevant?” This pressure affects many retirees silently, but not someone like me; though retired, I'm busy doing what I love to. Such a question can cause an average retiree to lose confidence and withdraw from society.
Retirement has helped me discover that human worth should never be tied only to vain things like salary, title, or office position. A person still has value even after leaving formal employment. Experience gained from formal employment matters, if the retiree is willing to leverage on it. When combined with wisdom and attitude, a retiree can create amazing value.
At London Heathrow, during my return trip. The signpost behind me explains why I was at this spot ..... those who love cigarettes can relate. However, I have quit that habit 🤓
Retirement revealed something else that surprised me: many younger people are actually searching for guidance, encouragement, and real-life wisdom. I interact with lots of them; I meet most of them in football viewing centres (I don't miss Premiership games, especially when Manchester United is playing). Watching football matches at the viewing centre is real fun; most of the time, I leave the comfort of my home to join these young people. Many of them migrate towards me because of my easy-going lifestyle and I feel great associating with them.
The world is full of information, but genuine life experience has become rare. That is one reason I decided not to remain idle after retirement. Instead of allowing retirement to reduce my relevance, I chose to learn new things, explore online and offline opportunities. Now, I write, I engage with people to remain mentally active; I'm also getting involved in farming. Retirement can either weaken a person or awaken a person. The difference often depends on mindset; retirement has lifted my spirit.
One serious mistake is that some people fear retirement because they never prepared emotionally for it. Very few prepared for the psychological transition that comes with retirement. It can lead to regret, frustration, and depression if one is not careful. However, if properly managed, retirement can become a season of rediscovery, a season to reflect, a season to grow, a season to mentor others and a season to pursue postponed dreams.
Relaxing outside London Heathrow terminal building, waiting for my flight departure
Today, I have fully acclimatised; I no longer see retirement as the end of usefulness, I see it as another chapter of discovery. Retirement may remove a job title, but my life purpose remains intact.
In my opinion, the most important lessons about life only become visible when the chaos of active working life finally ceased. If I'm given another opportunity to take formal employment at this stage, I will reject it outright; I have already paid the price. I'm currently enjoying time-freedom and I'm having a ball.
Thanks for your time to read part of my life story in retirement. But before I let you go, I want to ask .....
what has life taught you about human nature during difficult transitions?
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