How Much Lost Youth Can We Ever Truly Regain?
This is something that occupies a significant portion of my headspace on an almost constant basis.
Like many over 50's I don't suggest for an instant that we would relish the prospect of revisiting those angst filled times of our youth when hormones were raging and moods unpredictable. Ooh, perish the thought.
I don't wanna go back to being miniSte, far left, rockin' those eighties trunks and vulcan hairstyle.
Those times when a relationship that lasted longer than an afternoon sparked thoughts of marriage, children and a home with a white picket fence. With age comes wisdom and the realisation that a white picket fence is easily besmirched, one assault from a low flying bird with malintent or a stray hosepipe jet and a loose clump of compost can render it in need of a re-paint within the day!
However, I would trade my current knees with those of my 20 something self in a heartbeat. I swear those days were accompanied by a spine that was capable of allowing my neck to turn both left and right without shooting pain or sound effects akin to a stick being dragged along the aforementioned picket fence.
Old bonezzz
I remember a time when I could lower myself in to a chair and believe it or not, get out of one without sounding like sasquatch after being caught on camera by those guys from the discovery channel. Ahh... Good times.
Don't even get me started on hindsight!
Some of those questionable life, love or financial decisions would have been far more sensible with a smattering of it. Confess... Some of those 70's and 80's fashion choices you made and occasionally see on old photos would have been very different with a little more measured thought and perspective or advice from current you.
With age comes memories of grief and loss that seem to stack and multiply as the years compound, those younger than us by decades must wonder how we can possibly go on when faced with such enduring pain. The secret of course as you will know Dear Reader is that there is only such heartache because of the love we once had and even when things feel so bleak, we are all too aware that we would never trade away what we had for any amount of trauma.
I do wonder though, that if we embark on a journey of lifelong health, wellness practices and energy, would we feel as we did when we were much younger? I often watch the videos and podcasts of 'so called' bio-hackers, who go to extreme lengths to prolong their life at any cost.
There's got to be a cost/benefit analysis at some point to determine if it is truly worth it, not just financially but in terms of time, perhaps the cost of losing all those we know they are bad for us, but... little treats we enjoy so much. What about the potential social cost of never drinking again, never meeting up with good friends or family in a café or restaurant?
This is not something to be embarked upon lightly. It takes thought, an actual decision and a level of commitment and discipline that you may have never mastered thus far along the rocky path of life's meandering journey.
Maybe there is a balance to be struck.
We are all very familiar with the 'moderation' theory, problem is that when faced with a multipack of our favourite treats or beverages, sometimes one is simply, never enough.
What if we could feel the benefits of what 2 or 3 years of healthy, committed fitness feels like, what if we could test drive the new body we 'could' inhabit, would that change or influence our decision?
I see the 'pros', I see the 'cons', and still am unsure.
Of course, fitness is not the only measure of potential regained youth to be measured, attitude, lightness of spirit and happiness are all great yardsticks to use too. Life's trials, traumas and tribulations (now there is a trifecta of T's!!!) have no doubt weighed heavy on our shoulders for many years too, can all of this compounding ever be truly overturned, I mean really?
I am going to give it a try!
Not a perfect attempt, not a joyless existence where deprivation is the only friend who is ever really ever-present.
But I want some of that vitality I have heard so much about. After 2 matches with the grim reaper a little while back, that I aced by the way... That dude couldn't beat me! I became very intimately acquainted with my own mortality.
I began to wonder who I could have been, if things had been different. I also wondered who I could have almost never been if it hadn't been for some top notch emergency care and a family worth sticking around for.
Vacuous vanity goal number 1.
I want a bloody six pack before I die! OK it's not really only vanity, I want to know that I can do it. When I was very young, I was in the army and was supremely fit, but I was a scrawny late teenager and had no discernible 6 pack and zero discernible body fat, at all! Once my body developed to the point that I could have displayed a 6 pack, I had discovered pizza, alcohol and so many other practices that inhibited it. Which leads nicely to the other reason, this is a particularly great type of muscle for helping to regulate and burn blood sugar and visceral fat and regulate mood and hormone levels.
Vacuous vanity goal number 2.
I want to be a healthy weight, so I am likely to be around a little longer for those who make my life worth living. I now inject insulin 4 times a day and need to take 15 pills 😂😂😂 with every meal in order to avoid malnutrition as the death of some of my pancreas a while back makes digestion and extracting any nutrients unaided very difficult without these enzymes.
I am at a significantly increased risk of some particularly nasty and distinctly 'unfun' conditions and would, I think prefer to maybe not do that.
At one point, friends and family tell me I was too thin
With hindsight it was probably the early effects of my pancreas starting to struggle to extract nutrients from food.
Can you spot the 20kg of water added to my extremely distended stomach?
My weight fluctuated by 5 stone (70 lbs/32 kgs) in a matter of 4 weeks during this period of hospitalisation. However, I am not going to cite the lower figure as a 'healthy weight' for fairly apparent reasons.
Vacuous vanity goal number 3.
I want to be able to go for extremely long walks like I used to before my health stuff kicked in. This is likely to be the most challenging, there was a spell when I was wheelchair bound but I have already made efforts to make this more of a possibility through house and garden work for slightly longer spells each time. Kind of like exposure therapy, I guess. I also have a condition whereby my glucose levels drop very quickly and I collapse with no prior warning. This is probably exactly as hilarious as it sounds but I have been learning of steps I can take to minimise and potentially mitigate this.
So I guess they aren't really vacuous or entirely vanity based goals, but ya get my point, right?
I just know, I mean trust me, I KNOW, that a year down the line, if I have been successful (and I'm still here!!! 😁) that I will be thinking, hmmm, I wonder how far I can go with this...
Will I have a feeling of youth and vitality coursing through my veins? Will I regularly be mistaken for Arnie, in the street? Will I be thinking, Oh man, I wasted so many years, I wish I could have felt this way when I was younger?
Or will I be nursing a whiskey and ice, smoking a cigarette, while deciding on whether to opt for McDonalds or Burger King for dinner (or both!!!).
I remember hearing people chant the mantra/affirmation while dieting or exercising... "Nothing tastes as good as fit and thin feel!"
I always wondered if that was true but kinda always thought they were trying to convince themselves more than they were me...
I remember a guy I worked with saying "Oh man, I eat clean, cleancleanclean, I weigh my protein, load up on greens and sprouting veg and I always feel great", there always seemed to be a massive dose of desperation in his voice and a hunger in his eyes, maybe it's just me.
What about you Dear Reader, where do you fall? Somewhere sensible between the 2 positions? You would rather just enjoy life even with the aches and pains or are you already cleancleanclean 😁
Is the price too high for you to try and turn the clock back now or have you already done it? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my, often disjointed ramblings and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
Keep taking the time to connect with each-other both here and in the 'so-called' real world and try and look after each-other, because as you already know...
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Any images in my posts are either 'taken by me' or 'created in Canva by me.'