Christmas is nearly coming but we don't have any plans on how to celebrate it. It's our 2nd Christmas having a broken family and you know instead of feeling the happiness , I feel the sadness because I really missed having a complete family. I was crying while typing this as I am really sad thinking about the idea. Other families are happy celebrating Christmas while us is not. We are having a hard time deciding if where will be celebrating the Christmas. We want to celebrate the Christmas in my in-laws house but I am thinking with my father because he will be sad for sure if we are leaving him alone in the house.
As per my mother , she will be celebrating Christmas in my Aunt's house because she don't want to go home and she requested it we can send my niece there but the problem is that my father will know it. I know he will not in favor of this because last week he knew that we went to the place where my mother work and his mood changed and didn't talk to me until he leave the house Monday morning and go to his job.
For us adults , Christmas is not that especially unlike the kids. You know the excitement of the kids during Christmas because of gifts that they will recieved. The excitement on thier new clothes on Christmas and the events and happening like going to the mall and amusement park on pre COVID era.
--
We didn't celebrate Christmas as fabulous as New year. Usually we didn't wake up during Christmas Eve and we didn't cook that much. When I was working in Manila I didn't go here in the province during Christmas because for my father New Year is important. I really missed a complete family even if we are now showy in terms of being clingy but atleast we know that we are complete.
My two younger brother is working in Manila and for sure they will go here on Christmas. My sister has a duty on Christmas and for sure we will be the one in here as usual.
--
When I was a kid , I am not really excited during Christmas because I don't a godparents near our place. I was baptized in Manila thats why and until now I never met my godparents only my one godfather who is the son of the godmother of my parent during thier wedding.
But even though I didn't received something from my godparents. I am happy because my parents gave me gift and my other relatives. I am happy with the Christmas party , Christmas carol gaming and our bonding during Christmas times.
You know the happiness when you go house to house together with your friends and you will be looking for delicious food like Salad and Leche Plan.
Buying a food or toys out of the money that you recieved from others. Napamaskuhan haha. I remember when I was a kid I am happy buying hello wafer in the store because I have money because on the normal days it's not possible for me to buy that food because naghihinayang ako. It's just a small size but it cost 5 pesos haha.
--
I don't have any topics to write about today that's why I wrote this. It's part of my isipin now kasi. As much as I want to be happy I don't find a reason to be happy. Don't take it wrong , I know theres a lot of reason to be happy but thinking about our family makes me sad.
I really wish that next year my family will be okay so that I can also start to plan for my own family.