Unforgiveness is very bad and pathetic, either in marriages, family, relationships or friendships. Whatever happens between you and someone please try your best and forgive the person. You must not wait till the person ask you for forgiveness first over what he or she has done bad to you before you can forgive the person. Just forgive the person even if the person doesn't ask for it, for your peace of mind and fear of nobody knows tomorrow. Unforgiveness is destructive and deadly in a marriage or home.
I went to wamba today, a village in nasarawa state, Nigeria to extend my condolences to a friend who lost his father two days ago. When I got there, I greeted all the people that also came to sympathize with the wife and children and family over the loss of their beloved father and encouraging them to stand strong and firm at a situation like this. Losing their father is not the end of life, it's fine if they mourned for the death of their father, but after mourning they should stand up and cheer up, continue with life and ensure they keeps pursuing their dreams to achieve their goals and making their late father próud wherever he is to see his family are doing fine.
I entered my friend room to extend my condolences to him after greeting people outside. We were inside his room talking and exchanging pleasantries and encouraging him to stand strong no matter what happened. After all the encouragement and motivation we gave him, he took a deep breath and calmed himself down. He said that he never expected his father will die anytime soon, not now especially he's still in his second level in the university. That schooling now and only receiving support from only parent is gonna be hard and tough for him. He said something that got me thinking and meditating throughout the day even after I left his place back to my house. He said in this life, never keep malice and grudges with someone for long because you don't know what will or might happen to you or the person few hours later. He told us his father and his two younger brothers have been having family issues and fighting for months now over family lands.
He said his father been the elder brother among them went and sold a family land without their consent and knowledge, and use the money for his personal issued. They were not happy over what he did and when they called him to talk things down, he refused to attend to them because he was claiming being the eldest brother among them. He said because of this land family problem, his father and his two younger brothers doesn't talk to each other. Even if they cross paths each other no one will greets the other. One of the younger brother's daughter got married, on her introduction day , he didn't invite the elder brother and the elder brother didn't show any concern about his younger brother's daughter traditional marriage either. He said this fight has been going on for months, to an extent the fight has even affected them the children. They children tried their best to settled them but seems all efforts was a waste.
Unforgiveness has broken a bond between brothers and family, making them seeing themselves as enemies. Nobody cares about the other person because of unforgiveness. But even when the father was sick for weeks, the two younger brothers didn't show any concern or support, because there were still keeping grudges and anger over what happened between them. To an extent the father died over brief illness, they have not settled their dispute and misunderstanding they had with each other. Now what would they do that the brother is dead while they are still keeping unforgiveness in their heart? The brother is death and gone forever, they won't see him to ask for forgiveness or to forgive him.
Truly, this life is short and is a mystery. You never can tell what will happen in few minutes or hours later. Unforgiveness is destructive and deadly, forgive and forget whatever someone has done to you.
There's no forgiveness after death or on the grave. Forgive people while they are still alive, because there's nothing to do after death. Hearing his story has really touch my heart and I have learned a lot. There's nothing someone would do to you that cannot forgive the person. We are all humans, no matter how big or small the offenses is, forgiveness is possible. Someone might be alive today and tomorrow is no more. Forgive people while you can and live a life of forgiveness. Being a forgivable person.