A Weekend With My Dad

This is my first time sharing in the Family & Friends community. Today I am spending time with my biological dad after a while. These days, I just focus on making more money to cover his hospital expenses while forgetting to actually visit him. So, today I made time to visit him. My siblings, my bio dad and I were often communicating via whatsapp as we are all scattered around the country. Although to be honest, my relationship with my biological family isn't as good as I'd like it to be just because I happen to have an annoying step mother.

The stepmother I have is the perfect picture of a step mother; mean, foul mouthed, only cares about her own children and so on. I mean, if you ever watched a disney movie or just any movie with step mother in it, you’d get me but if you don’t that’s basically it. Before marrying my step mother, my dad was overall an adventurous man, he was nice, polite, and generous. He likes to tell me about law, economy and politics because that was his expertise and tell me about his adventurous days. Although as a child, I just knew him as the cool uncle since I got adopted by another family.However, after marrying my step mother, he changed completely. He wasn’t the man I used to know. I guess he tried to move on from me and my siblings and since the last 7 years, we haven't had a good relationship anymore.

I still meet him intermittently just to know how he is and his condition. Until a few months ago, he was admitted to hospital and I really had to fly out from Bali because I had to see him. That incident now leaves him partially paralyzed and bedridden. I know it’s hard to care for someone who is sick but my step mother has been complaining a lot saying that his children aren't helping enough. My siblings and I have our own lives since we were all adopted and basically growing up without him. We already tried our best to show respect which I think I have the right to just leave and never look back. But I am not that kind of person. I really tried my best. At the same time, I also dealt with problems around my adoptive family who are currently on separation. I swear, it’s like I have the responsibility of a poor man in their 40’s with dozens of children. It’s not easy emotionally and financially.

Just like the usual when I visited my biological dad, he tried to show that he’s fine. As soon as I sat next to him, He started talking about the surge of oil prices and how he watched from the TV about demonstrations everywhere. He also asked me about Bali and how my visit to the beach and what I did lately. I told him that I am doing fine and he has nothing to worry about. Although from what I heard, my step mother keeps complaining that my dad “lost his mind” and “annoying as a child” My step mother also often lashed out and told him that she wanted to divorce him and said a whole lot of mean things to him.Seeing him tried to look fine and look normal made me sad. I of course couldn’t cry in front of him but after I left, it got me teary.

I also got him his favorite meal, sweet and savory fish. He ate a lot and my step mother said that these days he won’t eat unless it’s fish. I accompanied him until he finished his meal and since I had something to do, I left his place and told him that I’d come back later before I fly out of the country. I also told him not to think too much about me and my siblings because we are all grown up and can take care of ourselves. Maybe he regretted something, maybe not I don’t know but I was happy to see him crack jokes and smile. Sometimes I can’t visit him for long because my step mother complained and constantly told bad things about me and my siblings. Visiting him definitely makes me sad but also a motivation that I have to help him in a way I can. Maybe next time, I’ll share some tips dealing with step mothers or dealing with annoying families.