When I began studying about love, I would try to be nice to everybody. I love scripture so much. I mean I don't like Obadiah and Micah like that but....I love scripture.
So one of those days, I was trying to put into practice what I had studied. I thought loving people meant being nice to everybody. So I was smiling with people I didn't like. I was trying to go out of my way to be very polite and kind. And, I was being more receptive to people I had created boundaries against.
I thought this was what it meant to love people.
And I remember The Holy Spirit telling me "well-done oh".He told me that he didn't ask me to be nice. 'Nice' is not love. 'Soft spoken' is not love. 'Pleasant' is not love. People pleasing is not love
Love is God.
Love is choosing people because you choose God. It's choosing people over their attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. It's admitting that they are messed up, but accepting that they are LOVED by God irrespective.
So you don't have to smile with everybody. If they are people you need to keep your distance from, lovingly do so. Call rubbish out. Love is not subservience. If there is something you should call out, please do it.
Jesus was quick to call out the Pharisees when they were messing up. Never for once did Jesus try to have dinner with the Pharisees. He did not have to pretend like he was trying to be friends with them. He didn't try to be friends with them. Did He love them? Yes! But they couldn't be in his corner. He never tried to please them.
Jesus pushed people selling, out of a temple. Did he love them? Yes! But he didn't have to accept rubbish. Neither do you.
I think sometimes we see love as being subservient or 'soft'. Soft is not the same as kind. Love is a choice. A decision to see people as Christ sees them irrespective of their gender, race or beliefs. It doesn't take responsibility for irresponsibility. It doesn't cross boundaries. And it definitely doesn't accept toxicity.
You can make it clear that you do not accept what is being done. You can make it clear that you do not accept how you are being treated, however, you accept the people. I accept you, even if I don't accept what you do.
I don't have to pretend like we are friends. Love and boundaries can exist together.
Love is a decision
Love is God