source
The family is the oldest institution on earth and "is the fundamental basis of society"
The family is the best framework in which the children must be raised to become mature adults.
But for these, certain aspects must be taken into account:
- Instill in children values since they are very children as they are: respect towards others and towards oneself, love, honesty, consideration among others.
- Father and mother together agree on the child's upbringing, this is important for the psychological and emotional balance of the child.
- Many parents make the mistake of being unauthorized in front of the children, while mom denies something dad gives it or vice versa, this will end up taking away the mother or father authority and creating disobedience in them.
source
This in a common theme in today's families where children are spoiled without measures by parents.
A manifestation of bad parenting we observe when children are taken to a place where there is something of interest and one of the parents denies it, either because it is not convenient for the child or does not have to buy it, we immediately see the transformation of this innocent creature to a child capable of demolishing everything around him with jumps, screams until he reaches the ground, manipulating to get what he wants, many parents to avoid or end the shame of the scandal end up buying what the child wants, achieving an almost immediate happiness in it and giving them to know the power of manipulation without even knowing what it means.
Claudia Jiménez Chacón, Psychologist of the Association Afecto and expert in parenting, says "that many parents still do not recognize what are the consequences of the disavowal between them until certain characteristics begin to appear in the children"
She mentions the following characteristics:
1- They get confused, they do not have guidelines or established parameters, their emotional state and behavior are altered.
2- When they are named in the discussions, the children feel guilty and responsible for the discrepancies of their parents, they try to solve everything, they feel powerless, anxious and angry.
3- Present manipulative behaviors are supported by the most permissive adult in the house.
4- it is not always the most appropriate thing for dads to disagree when they give orders to the child; It's like having two bosses giving orders at the same time. "
Errors when educating:
- Contradiction between parents: a position must be maintained in front of the child, any disagreement to speak in private.
- Overprotect: give them the space to make mistakes and teach them to face situations.
- Convey contempt: make them feel apart or excluded
- Lack of continuity must be equitable and rational: punishments or orders must be maintained until the established deadline without hesitation, this will maintain the position of authority.
- Punish badly: disproportional punishments impose punishments and make unattainable promises: you must be rational without exaggerating.
- Promise and not comply: you should not promise what can not be fulfilled this will bring disappointment and loss of credibility in the child towards the father or mother.
- Compare between siblings: this is terrible, it should not be done, this will create conflict between siblings, perhaps leading to adulthood, believe it.
- Do not put limits: everything must have a limit
- Bad examples: we must take care of what we do and say in front of the children, they adopt patterns of the parents.
- Negativity: it must be positive to teach them that bad things also bring good things, that losing is also gained.
- Make them older before time.
Recommendations:
If you are going to give an order to the child it is best to talk about it and agree beforehand, because if one gives an order and the other does not agree this will bring conflicts.
It is best to keep quiet in front of the child and expect to be alone to explain to the couple why they do not agree.
This does not mean that there will be no conflicts but it can be handled in an appropriate way for the good of the family.
Parents should listen to each other to reach agreements regarding the formation of children.
For no reason should parents be disqualified in front of children, they tend to imitate parents and may cause disrespect.
What God says through his word to parents for the education of children.
"Manoah prayed to the Lord, and said:" Oh, my Lord, I beg you ... to teach us what we are to do with the child that is to be born ". Judges 13: 8
"Train the child in his way, and even when he is old he will not turn away from him." Proverbs 22: 6
We must train them from their birth and instruct them to be guided through their lives.
"... Because I have in mind the sincere faith that is in you, which lived first in your grandmother Loida and in your mother Eunice, and I am sure that in you too." 2 Timothy 1: 5
Timothy had a faith that was the fruit of what he saw in his grandmother and mother; the children are our spectators and many imitators of what they see in their homes.
"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently." Proverbs 13:24
Sometimes children need that touch without reaching extremes for discipline, our God who loves also discipline.
"But the spoiled child will shame his mother." Proverbs 29:15
Many parents let their children do what they think best. But what discernment does a child have to know what is best for him?
"And these words that I command you today will be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall speak of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. "Deuteronomy 6: 6,7
We must speak of God's love and protection at all times to our children not alone when we go to church.
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children, lest they become discouraged." Colossians 3:21
Inconsistency is a sign of injustice. If you say one thing and do another, your child will not want to accept it. It is from this irritation that many children rebel against their own parents.
"Behold, I present before you this blessing and curse: blessing, if you will obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I prescribe for you today, and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, and you will depart. of the way that I command you today, to go after other gods that you have not known. "Deuteronomy 11: 26-28
Parents who are obedient to God are likely to have their children obedient to them and to God.
"Do not be deceived; God can not be mocked: for whatever a man sows, that will also reap. "
We must teach the children that every action brings with it a consequence.
"But without faith it is impossible to please God; for it is necessary that he who comes to God believes that he is, and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him. "Hebrew 11: 6
We must teach our children to use faith to face and overcome situations that may arise.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Proverbs 9:10
This does not mean that we should teach them to live in horror but to have respect and reverence for God.
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
GOD BLESS YOU.!!!