I came across a video as I was scrolling through Tiktok. The guy in the video said most people that read self helps and practice self love are selfish. See I didn't even finish the rest of the video, I was angered because of his flawed thinking, but the statement kept playing in my head, then I wondered, 'how thin is the line between self love and selfishness'.
Hi, it's Abeegail again, welcome to my blog, I'm here with another thought-provoking thought. I'm a teen who is just trying to find answers to questions she has no business thinking about. So when does self love turn into selfishness. This is something that I struggle to understand because, as an intense people pleaser, sometimes when I put myself first and think about myself, I feel like I'm being selfish for not looking out for others. This generation has rebranded self love—self love that used to be about looking out for yourself first and making healthy boundaries that protects you, into something cold. Cutting people off for no valid reason, trying to be unbothered about people, even people that love you, and you say you are just protecting your peace. You use "Boundaries" as a way to escape accountability.
There's this quote that comes to my mind once in a while "being loved is worth the inconvenience". So many of us don't want to compromise, even over little things. We refuse to grow or adapt, you push people away all in the name of self love, forgetting that growth and healing doesn't come from Isolation. Loving yourself shouldn't take away your humanity, loving yourself doesn't mean pushing down your compassion, You can love yourself and still love and care for others. It's all about balance.
I'm not saying boundaries or putting yourself first is bad. Leave toxic spaces, rest, learn to say no, prioritize peace, but also apologize, take accountability, be there for people, show up even when you don't feel like it, because there are people who will show up for you regardless.
True self-love isn't just about how you treat yourself, it's about how your healing and growth show in how you treat others. If “choosing yourself” constantly leaves your relationships in wreck, maybe it’s not love anymore, it's just ego. You can love yourself without becoming nonchalant and unreachable. You can be soft and still powerful.
Just a reminder: Boundaries without communication are just walls, and Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you disregarding everyone else.
It's Abeegail ✨💗,
Loving myself,
The Images are mine, both shot on my redmi A3x.
Thanks for Reading.