A friend of mine passed away recently.
That sounds so lame; so non-descriptive. So inadequate.
We'd actually known each other since we were 13, and shared in common that same strange expat childhood and youth I wrote about, a couple of days ago.
We went to school together — the same English-language school in Spain — and for a while, she was the only other person under the age of 50 I knew... and who lived less than five miles away. Our parents were friends. They lived in the apartment building across the street.
We'd sit under (or IN) the old fig trees on the golf course and have very adult conversations about life, literature, philosophy and other such things. Or we'd be having intense discussions about Lord of the Rings stuff.
In one of those odd twists of synchronicity, we both ended up going off to *(separate) boarding schools in the UK, at the same time... we'd write each other letters about our respective experiences (back in the days of snail mail) and some of my dorm mates even insisted that we "must be married, or something."
In actuality, we were never even boyfriend/girlfriend, in any sense.
Later, we both ended up in the US — she in Florida; me first in Texas, then in Washington state.
I admired the fact that she was an artist, and turned her entire life into that art she was always dabbling with, back when we were kids.
She ended up being of considerable regional renown as an artist and nature/ocean activist; she and her tourist boat captain companion created their own version of "the good life."
We stayed in touch from time to time, catching occasional life and family updates... including the "closed books" of our respective parents' passing.
We live in this strange electronic world now, where it seems like we are ever more connected, and yet we are perhaps more separated and isolated than ever... the more technologically advanced the world became, the less contact we ended up having, despite our rather parallel walks through life.
I expect it is something that happens to more people than I care to think about... we increasingly rely up people getting updated via our social media posts, rather than direct contact... so we actually grow apart, not closer.
The odd thing is... my friend actually passed away at the beginning of August, on the same day my mother passed away, more than a decade ago.
But I didn't find out until yesterday when an update (from someone else) caught my eye and a little poking around revealed that the reason it seemed like I wasn't seeing her in my feed was that... she wasn't there, anymore.
Why didn't I know this? Testament, I suppose, to just how distant we all are, in spite of all these connective "tools..."
I feel surprisingly sad.
Even though we weren't close, we shared a very long and often parallel history and — outside of family — she was the living person I had known longer than anyone else on the planet... a little over 50 years.
Life is fragile and fleeting.
Remember to enjoy it while you can!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a wonderful weekend!
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Created at 2025.01.10 13:30 PST
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