Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
I've been thinking a lot the last few days about time. I read a post today that also made me think about whether I am using my time wisely or wasting it.
I think I have wasted a lot of time ~ why? Out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being uncomfortable and moving out of what I know to be safe. Fear of failure. Fear of stress.
Today I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and told myself "No more wasting time". I jotted down the deadlines and cemented them in my mind. I wrapped them with string in my heart and I committed to them.
The time ahead is going to be wrought with tribulation, uncertainty, discomfort and conflict and while I am certainly not prepared for the latter, the other ones I think I can deal with. Mostly. But sitting around and fretting, waiting for things to change is nothing more than wasting time. Time where I could be fighting for things to change. Time where I could be planning and strategizing...making things happen. The cards will fall as they may and I will have to deal with that when the time comes, but for now, I am simply wasting time, effort and value while doing nothing.
The reckoning
There are parts of our lives where we have to make really tough decisions, where we sometimes feel like we have no-one to help us stand tall and fight against indecision, against immoral actions or against tyranny. The funny thing is that being a bystander is a worse crime than doing something.
I'm going to be moving house soon (in the next few weeks) and just before Christmas. It is going to be a tough time and there is no way of knowing right now how things will play out afterwards, but I need to make the change and relocate to the rest of my family. They aren't far off but in order to do so, I'm probably going to ruffle a lot of feathers on this side where I currently am.
Generally I don't like conflict situations and I try to be as diplomatic as possible when it comes to negotiations but I have tried that before and it hasn't ended well so I doubt that this time will be any different, so I will be taking a much harsher stance and laying down some boundaries. Some people don't like boundaries and get highly offended when you assert them.
Somewhere along the way I lost how to use them effectively and now is the right time to start implementing them with the help of others as a support system to enforce.
The outcome
People can really be arserags at times and I'm expecting the worst to be honest, but there is no situation that has come before now where this particular individual hasn't thrown a temper tantrum when I said no and stated my case.
It's going to be interesting to see how it plays out and at the end if I don't get the response that I am aiming for, well at least I can say that I tried and diligently put in time, effort and perseverance. It will also then set precedent for any future issues that may be faced as a result.
So today is one of those days which could become pivotal in my life story. Perhaps I will look back on this post in years to come and be grateful that I took a stand, perhaps not, but at least I'm going to stop wasting time and start moving and shaking.
The image is my own