I laughed; she just asked me what the fuss was about.
“What do you mean what's the fuss about?”
Source
My best friend shifted her gaze from me to her phone saying nothing. I knew when she became like that, something important was on her mind.
“But seriously, did I do something wrong?” She lifted her head to me again. I heard a soft sigh escape her lips.
“Was 2023 all that you wanted it to be?”
I took the chair directly opposite her, my brain running through the major events of the previous year as vividly as possible.
“I think so,” I was still thinking. “Why though? Why did you ask such a question?”
“You know, at the beginning of every year, we make exciting plans. We're so sure these plans would work and sometimes we take practical steps to ensure they do. But somehow, things hardly go as planned.”
I was wondering what she was driving at.
“Why the sudden sober reflection? Did something happen?”
“I don't have plans or resolutions for this new year.”
I threw my head back and allowed the tickly bubbles in my belly to travel up my throat as laughter. What was she talking about? Treasure made her New Year resolutions before the year ended. She made me write mine down on Post-its and paste them at the head of my bed the previous year.
“Okay, that was funny. What are you talking about?”
She rose and began to pace.
“I had almost 15 plans for the new year in 2023. I worked hard in January; you know the story. I did everything in my power to start my own business. I read almost every night to get a better result, but what did I get? Did any of that go as planned?”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I didn't like where she was going. The last time we were here, she ended up breaking into sobs. I didn't like to see her cry. On most days, it moved me to tears too.
“As if that was not enough,” she continued, “I changed my plans and strategies. It was you who even recommended that, still, I didn't get anything tangible. What's the need to set new goals when the old ones were not even met? And you're here ranting about getting financial freedom this year, how is that possible?”
I didn't want to see it as throwing a pity party. I wanted to see that she was analyzing the previous year in order to make the new year a better one, so I replied with that thought in mind.
“Sweetie, I understand where you're coming from, but we cannot stop making plans because the old ones didn't come through. Okay, let's do a revision of the entire year.”
“I'm not in the mood for that” She picked up her purse. I tried the best I could to persuade her to stay a little longer but that was it. She left.
I sighed wearily and lay down to ponder on what she had said.
I had made a couple of plans for the new year, what if they didn't go as planned?
What if I couldn't achieve anything all through the year?
What if I ended up failing, or disappointing myself and everyone else?
I took a pen immediately, tore off a page from my Post-it, and titled it, 2024 GOALS: PLAN B. And it wasn't necessarily to deviate from the plans I had initially written, or make more plans, it was to write the most practical steps to achieve the goals I had already set.
I knew what would become of me if I didn't achieve tangible goals in the new year. I had been there before; the feeling of uselessness, the disappointments on the faces of loved ones, the inquiring messages from members of my online community.
I cried in 2022, shut down my Facebook community, and avoided my family members. I refused to pick myself up because I couldn't even identify what I had done wrong. It was the same Treasure who had come to me then, asking me to write my goals and resolutions for the next year and paste them where I could see them.
As I wrote, I paid attention to see if I was writing out of fear or if it was sheer determination driving me. I had promised myself in 2023 not to live for approval anymore but I still did it subconsciously, sometimes.
At the foot of the post-it, I wrote boldly; IF I FAIL, IT IS NOT BECAUSE I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH, BUT BECAUSE I POSSIBLY MADE THE WRONG CHOICE FOR A GOOD ENOUGH PLAN.
And I placed it where I could see it too, just like my best friend had suggested a year ago.