I’m glad I was old enough to understand and be aware of things at the time my last sister was born. Maybe I wasn’t in top comprehension form, but I could see. I could hear. And thankfully, I could be of help. It may have not been much. But I hoped it was worthwhile.
Because, for the longest time, I’ve never doubted the validity of postpartum depression. Because I think to myself about all the symptoms that come with every phase of our lives as women. From puberty to when we see our periods, to pregnancy. So, why wouldn’t we have things we experience, feel and go through after giving birth? I usually feel deeply for pregnant women, but perhaps that may not be compared to what I feel for new mothers.
I think of how they must feel. What goes on in their heads, and try to reconcile them with the expectations society or selfish partners may have of them. I have a friend who married quite young. She’s within my age gap, so I wondered about how mentally prepared she was for what lay ahead. After she delivered one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen, it was at if my friend was withering away silently. It was weird because she always had a smile on her face when we spoke. But at a point, I became discerning enough to realize that my friend may be going through PPD.
After a while. And I mean a long while, she opened up about her husband who kept remarking with no element of subtlety that if he knew she’d “whale up” like this when she was pregnant, he may have thought twice. What was that supposed to mean, essentially? I got infuriated with how worried she seemed to be that she may not return to her once slim figure.
I recognized the look in her eyes as the same one my Mom had when she gave birth to my last sister although the cause was very different. Mom had been expectant of something else. But then she had my very big, very beautiful last sister. The whole family, Dad included did all we could to make her feel as special as we knew she was. It wasn’t long before she began to smile more genuinely.
And so, when I got that familiar look from my friend, I knew how much care she needed. From those who cared about her, but more importantly from herself. She needed to reminded that she was strong, courageous and beautiful. So all of us who were her friends went on the most outings during that period. Spa dates. Lunch dates. Beach dates. Picnics. While some went out, the others watched on the baby.
Through it all, we showered endless praises on her, and encouraged her to repeat those words to herself even when we weren’t around. It took a hot minute but we saw her glow like she was supposed to, and it was such a beautiful transformation to behold. These new mothers are champions, and they deserve all the love they can get. I know there are extreme cases where medications become needed. But I still think that the new mother being surrounded by people she loves cheering her on would do a world of good than the best medicines.
Whatever you can do, and whether or not you perceive PPD in new mothers, shower gifts on them, and if you can’t with gifts, shower words on them. Just letting them know that we see them, we love them, and we appreciate them. Glad this thoughtful question from the Thoughtful Daily Post Community came my way as a chance to celebrate mothers as a whole. Lots of love and hugs to all the Hive mothers who come across this.
Jhymi🖤
Image is mine.
