Emotions can, at times, feel overwhelming. I find myself in this exact position at the moment in my life. Pain, specifically, is what I'm struggling with the most.
The pain and the hurt feel like they are going to consume me at times. In my day to day on the surface, most people wouldn't even know. They wouldn't know that I'm actually dealing with so much. There are so many emotions and so many painful and necessary truths.
The world doesn't want to deal with you while you're feeling less than, and that has always made me feel so incredibly sad. It's probably also why, on the surface, we pretend that we've got this. We're strong and capable. Remember the phrase, "What doesn't kill you...."
I detest that saying! I mean it would make more sense if it wasn't my day to day trying to kill me. Goodness has pain become the only way we know how to feel anything. Oh gosh that gets me thinking about another phrase... I shall not type it out.
I whisper that I've got this time and time again in the hard moments. How else do I get through this? I didn't choose it. I don't believe I deserve it. And yet here I am wading through all of it, trying to make sense of it all.
I know I should believe that what's waiting on the other side of this will somehow make it all worth it. Or at least that's what that saying fools us into believing.
I guess that's why speaking it out loud makes more sense. In your head it goes round and round. Maybe there is no sense at all and pain is just what it is, painful.
Thank You for Reading 😊
With Love Always, Justine ❤️
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