This month has reminded me how unpredictable and surprising life can be. I had expectations and even a picture in my head of how things would go, but life went in its own direction and left me somewhere I didn’t expect to be at all.
At first, I felt frustrated. I constantly caught myself asking, “why now? why me?” because seriously, why? But after wallowing in my confusion for sometime, I eventually paused and thought: maybe all the randomness isn’t here to ruin my plans. What if it’s to teach me that not everything needs to be controlled?
Funny enough, the knowledge that some things cannot be controlled has been depicted by myself in one of my books. So for me to be unable to accept what I've told the world was actually ironic and hypocritical.
screenshot of my book on wattpad
I quieted my thoughts, not at once, but gradually. And when I did, I noticed little gifts. Gifts in the form of a random song that lifted my mood, a quiet time that gave me clarity and other unexpected events that didn’t look useful at first but opened my eyes to new things.
I’m slowly learning to stop wrestling with every plot twist. I try to lean into my curiosity with optimism by wondering “what is this moment trying to show me?”
This life will always be a little random.
images are mine.